Folks, there is no way to sugarcoat it. This team has not pulled its way out of the hole it has been in since that interception bounced off of Keanu Neal’s leg in the 2017 playoffs. It is getting tough to continue describing disappointment in novel yet interesting ways.
What a terrible way to kick off the new era. Yet, here we are.
How do we rank this pancake illustration?
Keeping in mind that we are well over three years of describing crushing disappointment at The Falcoholic, Dave Choate has compared the Falcons to an undercooked pancake. He recaps the loss to the Eagles in more detail than I need.
Arthur Smith talks Jalen Mayfield and more
We have less of Smith’s “gruff talk” and more of his explanation for catastrophic failure. Things appear tougher for the rookie coach after the Falcons failed as spectacularly as a rocket blowing up on the launch pad.
Podcast the pain away
Let the deep and sultry tones of our podcasters David Walker and Evan Birchfield take the sting away from Sunday’s loss to the Eagles.
Player of the week Cordarrelle Patterson?!?!
THIS was unexpected — and yet, Patterson was one of very, very, very few bright spots. The former first-round wide receiver somehow switched positions to running back and looked absolutely impressive. The NFL better look out if the Falcons also fix their offensive line, passing game, play calling, run defense, pressure, and coverage, because Patterson could be tough to deal with.
The NFC South has left us in the dust
Usually there was solace in the fact that other teams in the division would have a bad first game. The loss is a bit easier when Falcons are tied for second place. That isn’t the case this year. Atlanta is starting at the bottom.
Reinforcements are here?
The Falcons cut linebacker Brandon Copeland right before the regular season, indicating to many the team does not want to guarantee his salary for the entire year. If he signs after the first game, his game checks are only guaranteed once they hit direct deposit. Well, he’s back.
Fantasy stud and dud
Our writer Adnan Ikic struggled mightily to come up with a fantasy stud. Considering the Falcons scored all of six points, it is no wonder Adnan struggled as much as the Falcons in every aspect of Sunday’s game.