The Falcoholic is excited to announce it is expanding from simply providing the best in Falcons news to also providing the best in NFTs. Thanks in part to our long history of supporting the arts, NFTs are the perfect addition to the Falcoholic.
For those of you wondering how the Falcoholic selling NFTs makes sense, or whether this is just a shameless money grab... are you the cops?
If you’re a cop, you have to tell me. Please read our quick explainer below before we get to the NFTs.
What are NFTs?
NFTs, or nonfungible tokens, are unique assets that can’t be replaced with something else, and are verified and stored using blockchain technology. These are commonly digital artworks that people can “own” similar to a physical art. Those NFTs can be bought and sold on online marketplaces as part of laundering drug money.
Why is the Falcoholic selling NFTs?
NFTs may sound confusing, but as a long-time Falcons fan, I have convinced myself of the success of many things that don’t make sense. Remember the 2014 offseason? I thought we were going to the playoffs.
NFTs might not make a lot of sense to the uninformed, but trust me, the writers at this site did a whole lot more than seeing how much people were buying NFTs for and then Googling the cost of yachts. We also Googled the costs of villas on the Italian coast.
Can’t other people just download the same image?
I spoke to a leading NFT expert and he assured me, after studying our library of images, that “absolutely nobody would want to do that.” Also shut up. Shut up!
Why would anyone ever buy an NFT?
Shut up! SHUT UP!
How do people buy Falcoholic NFTs?
Better question. The Falcoholic accepts all of your major cryptocurrencies: BitCoin, CoinBase, Doge, and Choatebucks.
If you wish to be the sole owner of a Falcoholic NFT, please email us the appropriate amount of cryptocurrency, you can then right-click that image, and we will blockchain it or something.
Is this just a blatant money grab?
The Falcoholic supports new technologies, marketplaces, products if we can market them because y’all use ad blockers.
Does the Securities and Exchange Commission know about this?
Our legal counsel has strongly recommended I plead the 5th.
Who is legally responsible for all of this?
Great question, and the answer is yes, the NFTs are just below.
NFT Falcon: $3.45 billion
Limited edition Nic Cage NFT: $4.2 billion
Matty Ice - Mr. Freeze NFT: $1.3 million
Official Falcoholic Logo: $12.2 billion
Sponge Bob the Falcons Fan NFT: $320 million
Freddie Falcon the War Criminal NFT: $2.2 billion
Matt “Money” Bryant NFT: $4.2 million
Atlanta Goobers NFT: $1.2 Trillion
Terrifying Falcons Mascot NFT: $17 million
Bike Ride NFT: Free.
Merry Christmas: Free