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5 pressing, entirely football-related questions with Big Cat Country

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As is custom, we take it way off the rails with our preseason Week 4 questions with Ryan Day of Big Cat Country.

Jacksonville Jaguars v Miami Dolphins Photo by Eric Espada/Getty Images

Dave Choate: If Taven Bryan was in a wet paper bag and armed with scissors, how long would it take him to get out of said bag?

Ryan Day: It would take him precisely as long as it took him to get his first career NFL sack: 16 weeks.

Dave Choate: Tom Coughlin grew up in Waterloo, New York. Is his favorite song “Waterloo” by ABBA and/or his favorite historic battle Napoleon’s infamous defeat? If not, why not?

Ryan Day: Many people forget this, but Tom Coughlin doesn’t listen to music because his way of unwinding in the car is by overdrafting mediocre running backs or signing Nick Foles to a guaranteed contact roughly the size of the GDP of the island of Montserrat. He watched Taven Bryan play football (more than once!) and thought to himself, “That’s the piece we need.” There is absolutely no way Tom Coughlin looks at the name “ABBA” and thinks it’s a band. He probably thinks it’s some sort of defensive alignment from the 1890’s or the sound a football player is supposed to make when he’s receiving an epidural injection for pain at halftime. He is the bane of my existence and he will outlive us all.

Dave Choate: If I was looking for food and beer in Jacksonville, where would I go? Assume you like me.

Ryan Day: Ohhhhhhhhhh, baby!

You’re waking up at sunrise and drinking a six pack of Intuition Ale in the shower. Your shower will be 45 minutes long. Stop asking questions.

You will then Uber over to your nearest Metro Diner for an early breakfast.

For elevensies, you’re hitting up Black Sheep for a breakfast of short ribs and eggs.

For afternoon (like... only an hour or so after noon), you’re going to Maple Street Biscuit for an order of The Squawking Goat -- a dish that consists of a fried chicken breast, fried goat cheese medallion, and house-made pepper jelly all in between a warm, buttery biscuit. Wash this down with a mimosa or three. (Yes, they serve these at a few locations.)

Nap.

Wake up and head to Intuition Ale. Order a Daybreak, then a Devil In The Details, then a Shotgun Shack, then a King Street Stout to finish.

Amble over to Aardwolf just as Alfie is finishing up his day of work in his mom’s basement. Order a San Marco Sour, an El Mariachi, and a Weizenwolf to finish.

You’re in San Marco, so grab dinner at Taverna.

Go watch local music at Jack Rabbits and drink your body weight in PBR.

For dessert, go smoke hookah and sip some Bold City Brewery beers at Casbah Cafe in Avondale.

Pass out in a Chick-Fil-A parking lot.

Wake up and get some doughnuts at Good Dough on your way out of town.

Dave Choate: Circling back to music but not Tom Coughlin, what are the five best songs to sing along to in the car like no one is watching?

Ryan Day: Queen - Don’t Stop Me Now

The Killers - Mr. Brightside

Goldfinger - 99 Red Balloons

N*SYNC - Tearing Up My Heart

Paula Abdul - Straight Up

Honorable Mention: Frozen - Let It Go (it bangs, shut up)

Dave Choate: On a football note, how many spots are up for grabs for the Jaguars heading into this final game?

Ryan Day: I would say the final receiver position (Tre McBride vs. C.J. Board), the final linebacker position (Joe Giles-Harris vs. D.J. Alexander) and the final cornerback position (Breon Borders vs. Josh Robinson).