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After skipping voluntary OTAs, Julio Jones reports to minicamp at 282 pounds

Asked about his dramatic weight gain, the wide receiver reportedly said, “Did you know Taco Bell has Doritos tacos? No one ever told me. And they have Cool Ranch. COOL RANCH!”

The league’s greatest wide receiver made waves last year by skipping some mandatory offseason practices during a semi-extended holdout. Fans worried Jones may return to the team out of shape and struggle during the regular season. Jones caught 113 passes for 1,677 yards and 8 touchdowns after showing up in the best shape of his life.

After some extended training with Terrell Owens, his arms looked like this.

Few batted an eye when Jones skipped voluntary OTAs. After all, the veteran knows more than a few things about putting in elite effort and staying in shape. He showed up the day before mandatory minicamp and the results of his physical were... alarming.

[Head coach Dan] Quinn: “We definitely support Julio. He’s a competitor. One of the best at staying in shape. But hey, no one is perfect, and he’s a little bigger than last year. A lot of guys add weight in the offseason. Takk [McKinley] is up 9 pounds. Julio is up 62 pounds. It’s really all the same. He’s ready to get physical and is fired up to win a Super Bowl. All 282 pounds of him.”

Quinn followed up by explaining that some of the weight is “good weight,” and a new “speed package” will showcase Jones at defensive tackle next to Grady Jarrett.

The typically reserved Jones had a lot to say when talking to reporters for the first time since the 2018 season.

I was out running wind sprints in Atlanta to start my third training session one day. In between reading pages of the playbook, I saw a McDonald’s. There was a big, beautiful sign that said, “The McRib is Back!” The McRib is only there for a limited time and I said, “Quintorris, you are 30 and you keep missing the McRib. What if this is your last chance?”

One bite and it blew my mind. I’ve missed so much while running up bleachers. I was too busy eating quinoa and chicken breast that I never had a McGriddle. WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME ABOUT MCGRIDDLES BEFORE?

Jones was visibly upset and was sweating heavily... maybe from the humidity?

After a 10 minute diatribe about the positives and negatives of each flavor of Taco Bell Doritos Locos Tacos Supremes, Jones was asked about how he is adjusting to returning to Falcons HQ.

It’s great to be back. I’m ready to get into it all again. The same way cheese gets all in pizza crusts now. Have you heard of stuffed crust pizza? It’s like a normal pizza but the crust is jammed packed with mozzarella. You might as well have cheese sticks for crust then you can dunk them in marina or garlic butter sauce. You can buy it from literally any pizza place. It’s not illegal or anything.

I finally feel free and alive. I’m not eating quinoa ever again.

Jones’s new size is already creating problems in camp. Isaiah Oliver has no answer for Jones in press coverage.

You can’t punch him off his route. When you shove him off his route before, it’s like pushing a brick. Now it’s like a bean bag. I don’t think he even wobbles. What’s even more annoying is you know he’s running a curl route because he won’t stop talking about curly fries. I have way too much curly fry knowledge after only one practice. I can’t wait to cover Calvin [Ridley] or Mo[hamed Sanu].

Jones denied his dramatic weight change may impact his contract negotiations, stating again that he has never been more dedicated to football as he brushed a heap of fast food wrappers from the driver’s seat and dashboard of his car.

Missing OTAs wasn’t important because I’m still the same player. I’m going to put in 100% for DQ [Dan Quinn], Tommy [Dimitroff], Colonel [Sanders], Arthur Blank, and the Hamburglar.

If you need to be told this is not serious, I don’t know how to help you.