Panthers vs. Falcons: The Iceman cometh

A cold chill descended through the air at the Falcons’ Flowery Branch training facility on Saturday morning, cutting through the 90 degree Georgia heat.

A seemingly inhuman being trudged through the hallways, and was greeted with faces of pure shock and terror in the form of everyone whom he passed by. His destination — Dan Quinn’s cavernous office at the end of the Branch.

The figure left a vestige of ice on each part of the floor, wherever he stepped, and he shot the temperature within the facility to a freezing 32 degrees Fahrenheit by the end of his trek.

Dan Quinn’s eyes shot up out of his files before even the first loud bang of the door, which echoed throughout the chambers. His door swung open, and next to him, Steve Sarkisian stood petrified when face to face with the figure. Quinn’s reaction was different, however, a savage grin laid on his face, showing every one of his fangs.

On the other side of that door stood a frozen, White Walker version of Matt Ryan. With crystal blue eyes, he stared directly into Dan Quinn’s face. Quinn, who had sacrificed Ryan to the Great Metal Falcon following the Week 1 loss to the Philadelphia Eagles, did say that Ryan may not come back the same man he once was, but it seemed as if he was the only one expecting this type of change.

“I’ve been waiting for you.” said the callous Quinn in a cold voice. The trance he held over the zombified Ryan was the only thing keeping the figure from running at the shell-shocked Sarkisian with deceptively quick speed and tearing the offensive coordinator to shreds.

“Wh — What did you do to him?” asked a stunned Thomas Dimitroff from the corner of the room.

“I won’t tolerate a repeat performance of that Week 1 game, so I made a deal with the Great Metal Falcon to transform him into the ultimate football weapon — all it cost was his personality and everything which made him human.” said Quinn, with the smile never leaving his face.

“The only thing that can destroy him is a rare Valyrian Steel blade — the kind which none of the NFC South houses posses.” added the head coach. Following this remark, the fearful Sarkisian looked down into his playbook and flipped to the back pages where his red zone plays were. Within these pages, he hid away small blades of Valyrian Steel which he possessed for some reason.

Off in the distance, Ser Cameron Newton of the Park could be heard leading his house Panthers into the Georgia heat to do battle with the Great Birds of Atlanta. They were without a clue of what they were getting into.

As the frigid Ryan screeched, Dan Quinn laughed maniacally, knowing that there was no stopping him now that he had his ultimate weapon.

Steve Sarkisian just looked on.