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Julio Jones to hold out of Matt Ryan’s offseason passing camp, per his new agent Terrell Owens

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“You can’t expect the greatest wide receiver in the game to share a room at a Holiday Inn Express,” said Owens during the driveway press conference while Jones did pushups in front of reporters.

Unofficial Falcoholic photoshopper Ville Terenius

Julio Jones shocked the Falcons and fans earlier this month by skipping minicamp in an effort to shake a few more dollars out of the team. Jones has been staying away from the team, and training with former wide receiver and reportedly new agent, Terrell Owens.

The holdout will extend into Matt Ryan’s offseason passing camp in Miami, a yearly tradition that Ryan believed Jones would attend. Jones is reportedly asking for accommodations more in-line with his superstar abilities. Passing camp is voluntary, and not a team-sanctioned activity, so Jones will not be fined for the holdout. Ryan has been paying for the offseason passing camp as a way to build chemistry between the offense.

Owens held a press conference in Julio Jones’ driveway, explaining to media that Jones will not show up to passing camp until his client is treated like a superstar.

Julio’s old agent, Jimmy Sexton, is OUT. He did not see the vision of Julio being the greatest, and needing to be treated like the greatest. It took awhile, but I convinced Julio of exactly that and we are on the same page.

Sexton is known as one of the power agents around the league. Losing Julio is a huge blow to his business.

This is very simple. Do you really think Antonio Brown would have to share an Uber from the airport to a Holiday Inn Express? Have you seen their continental breakfast? It’s a disgrace. Julio [Jones] ran a 4.39 40, and he’s sharing a room with Josh [sic] Hardy? Their economy carpet is so bumpy it’s a safety hazard. Calvin Johnson retired instead of staying in a hotel with a garden view. Garden view means parking lot. You can’t be expected to be the greatest when your window overlooks a parking lot.

Jones spent time doing pushups and situps during the press conference, where Owens laid out his “rider,” or list of requirements to end the holdout.

First, Julio needs a private driver at all times. If a Toyota Carolla UberShare pulls up, Jones is retiring immediately to become the fourth member of the Migos. I’m talking German or British luxury vehicle. The driver must must MUST wear 100% cotton, and not make eye contact with Julio.

Second, Julio needs at least three cases of Fiji Water, from an artesian aquifer in Viti Levu, in case he needs to wash his dog. Can you even imagine having to touch a dog bathed in city water? If you go more than 1,400 yards, you don’t have to touch anything that gross.

The demands went on for about 90 minutes, ranging from no brown M&Ms allowed at camp to a per diem of $150,000. He spent seven minutes wondering aloud how Jarvis Landry was paid $75 million.

I don’t even know... who is Justin [sic] Landry? $75 million? Who? That’s so much money. I’m a better wide receiver right now. Someone pay me $75 million. How. How?

Reached for comment, Ryan had this to say about the holdout.

Bumpy carpet? What does that even mean?

The holdout may last longer than anyone hoped. Jones will miss both the passing camp, and is not expected to show to training camp short of a major change to his contract.