Well, it’s finally upon us: the NFL dead period. The warm weathered period between the NFL Draft and training camp where there’s nothing going on in the football world, aside from some minicamps and maybe a scandal here and there.
I despise the dead period, and I’m sure most of you do as well. It’s a time of blind speculation out of sheer boredom as opposed to legitimate football action. This period feels like an eternity for the hardcore football fan, and it’s worse if there’s nothing to keep you preoccupied or distracted (hey, the Braves and United are doing well).
I’ve actually compiled a list of terrible \ things that are better than the NFL dead period. Take a look at it, or don’t, I’m not the boss of you.
- Stepping on a Lego (Editor’s Note: Nothing is worse than stepping on a Lego)
- Rush hour traffic on I-85, or I-75, or anywhere in metro-Atlanta
- Georgia humidity in July
- Getting to the store only to realize that you forgot your wallet
- People who legitimately think that Joe Flacco is better than Matt Ryan
- A flat tire in the middle of the road
- A jet sweep on 4th and goal
- A QB rollout on 4th and goal
- Locking your keys inside your car
- Thinking you found a parking spot in a packed lot only to realize that a tiny car is parked there
- Getting to Chick Fil A a few minutes after they’ve run out of chicken biscuits
- Craving some Chick Fil A only to realize that it’s Sunday
- Mike Smith dropping Paul Soliai into coverage
- That one season when the Falcons’ LB corps consisted of Paul Worrilow, Joplo Bartu and Prince Shembo
- That same season when an over-the-hill Steven Jackson was the team’s primary RB
- People who assume that Game of Thrones sucks without ever watching it
- Recording a game you can’t watch in real time, going out of your way to avoid seeing the score and getting a text from someone telling you the score
- Getting roasted by someone and then thinking of a comeback after the moment has passed.
- Playing “Words with Friends” and getting multiple letter Qs.
- A long flight
- A dead cell phone battery
- Getting to the gym only to realize that you forgot your headphones at home
- People from other countries who think football is the same thing as Rugby
- Getting your money stolen by the vending machine
- Mosquito bites
- Bad movie sequels that don’t let masterpiece films rest in peace
- An interception taken away because of a stupid holding or roughing the passer penalty
- This article itself is dead period filler garbage, and even it’s better than the dead period itself!
As bad as the dead period in football is, however, it’s not the worst thing in the world. Below is a list of a few things that are worse:
- Superbowl 51
- The fact that Julio’s catch in Superbowl 51 would have gone down as maybe the all time greatest SB play but instead is just an afterthought.
- The 2012/13 NFC Championship game
- Scoring two points in a playoff game
- Bandwagon fans in general
- The Ray Edwards signing
- The New Orleans Saints
- Bobby Petrino
May your summer be filled with many fun things to do, and may this dead period breeze by. Although let’s face it, for hardcore football fans who live for the season, these next few months will feel like an eternity, while the in-season time period between September-January will feel like a blur.
What are some awful things that you guys feel are better than the dead period?
Update: It’s an entire year later and the dead period still sucks. Just three more months until regular season football!