I’m not going to sugarcoat this: It’s been a rough season for the Falcons.
They’re off to a 1-4 start, which is the worst we’ve seen from this team in some time. The defense has been atrocious, and the offense seems to only be able to get things done at home — which is too bad, as they only play eight games in the friendly confines of the Benz. The offensive line, which had been a strength, is struggling. Julio Jones hasn’t scored a single touchdown, much to the chagrin of fantasy players everywhere. And the repercussions are felt in the team’s record.
We’ve watched their playoff chances evaporate, and that’s why we turned to Falcons Twitter this week to find out what kind of magic the Falcons need to work to actually make it to the postseason.
I’ll share some of the most clever answers this evening on Thursday Night Kickoff on FOX 5 Atlanta at 7 p.m. ET. Tune in for the whole show, as Justin Felder, Cody Chaffins, and the rest of the crew at FOX 5 have plenty of great Falcons insight for you as we look toward this week’s matchup with the Bucs. Here’s my segment:
Here are some of the great tweets you won’t see on the air tonight:
Our own Dave Choate knows how to fix the pass rush.
Summoning the ghost of Kroy Biermann, even though he's alive— The Falcoholic (@TheFalcoholic) October 9, 2018
This could work.
Get a lucky Thanos snap that takes out half of the other 31 NFL teams. pic.twitter.com/XVXy8bpuHE— Draftaholic Matt (@FalcoholicMatt) October 10, 2018
Alright Saints, ‘fess up.
Figure which Saints organization member is doing voodoo to our defensive players— Ray (@socomdark) October 9, 2018
We sacrificed the entire defense, Nathan. What more could this bloodthirsty beast want?
Make a better sacrifice to our falcon god and pray he lifts the curse. pic.twitter.com/2NG7P7pivF— Ñathañ Oweñs (@iam_owens) October 9, 2018
It’s the least he could do after jinxing the team.
Adam Caplan declares the other 31 teams to be the healthiest in the NFL— Don Emery (@thedondo1) October 9, 2018
We want Bama, but not in the way you’d think.
Sue the NFL a la Maurice Clarett and sign the entire Ohio State defensive line and Alabama secondary.— Jacob Peters (@JacobNPetersOH) October 9, 2018
That last part seems at least doable.
Conjuring the dark arts to arise the great forbidden army of the defensive ends. Or like just sign someone? Anyone?— Chris Cook (@ChrisCookOnline) October 10, 2018
Get Kenny — the Falcons’ equipment guy, not Kendall Jackson — on the phone.
Send in covert equipment staff to steal the other team’s uniforms and replace them with Falcon uniforms.— MDI (@Michael94636996) October 10, 2018
But speaking of the other Kenny ...
Well it starts by sending @projectjax to another dimension— Ryan (@rhopkins_) October 10, 2018
A great idea from a Saints fan. Fingers crossed.
Hope Drew Brees pulls a Vontae Davis and retires midseason.— Christopher Dunnells (@dunnellz) October 9, 2018
If they have any more injuries on defense, they might have to.
Having Julio play on defense. He can tackle pretty well. pic.twitter.com/jFDfvFja01— IT (@MadIsaiahThomas) October 9, 2018
Complex, but sound reasoning.
Build a pyre. On the top place a dreadlock from Julio and Takk, one of Matt Ryan's broken knee braces, a pile of iron dust from all the iron sharpening iron, a bow tie from D Led. Set on fire while chanting Chris Chandler to O.J. Santiago.— Brandon Rogers (@branroge) October 9, 2018
They need to get that MARTA bus to pull in front of whatever QB is about to throw the ball. Even if it worked, the bus would probably tear an acl midgame.— Citroknights, Squeeze on! (@stankinjenkins) October 9, 2018
Boom. Excellent idea.
Make a fake Mercedes Benz stadium and tell the opposing team that’s the real one. Then send the Falcons to the real stadium. And when the other team doesn’t show up it’s an automatic win. We can do that 11 times and we have a 12-4 record. It’s full proof— Shaheer Khan (@Shaheer84351721) October 9, 2018
What they really need is some Mattgic.
All the Matt's on this team have to perform at a high level in order for this team to win. #FalconsMattgic— Kai Ching (@FalconInHawaii) October 10, 2018
Honey, I shrunk most of the NFL.
Sabotage Gatorade of other 15 NFC teams & AFC teams still 2 face with shrinking potion from Alice in wonderland. Then it becomes like a madden gauntlet boss level, only all Falcons are normal size and everyone else is tiny. Falcons win out, easy January, beat Browns in MB Stadium— Martin (@Gunner_1986) October 9, 2018
Move along, FBI, nothing to see here.
Let’s open up a black market for body parts just in case an injury pops up— Nery Muñoz (@eyynery) October 9, 2018
Good old Grady.
with grady jarrett out the falcons have a huge hole at the "defensive tackles named grady" position. bring back this man pic.twitter.com/NFCITfSRQ5— What's the difference between the Indian Constitut (@uselesstinsel) October 9, 2018
Let’s wrap this up on a positive note.
Well we were 5-0, 6-1 in 2015 and missed the playoffs, so anything is possible— Brian_Bohannon (@BrianBohannon7) October 9, 2018
Last week we talked about how the Falcons could slow down the Steelers’ explosive offense (Narrator: They didn’t). The week before that, we gave the Falcons some suggestions on how to keep the injury bug at bay. The Falcons obviously should be watching this show, as it is jam packed with great ideas.