So here’s something that happened yesterday—midnight is technically Saturday—that you’ll want to read about. It’s a tale of loss, bewilderment, defeat, and also hair. It is a Takk McKinley story.
It begins with Takk discovering that he left one of his dreadlocks on the field against the Lions, probably in the process of taking down Matthew Stafford for his first NFL sack. At least, for the purposes of this narrative, we’re going to assume so. How did he realize this, you ask?
Because someone was selling said dreadlock on eBay. Of course.
I'm dead I gotta buy my dread back pic.twitter.com/TeC23UcAC5— Takkarist McKinley (@Takk) September 29, 2017
This had to be both hilarious and a little disconcerting for McKinley. Thanks to the magic of the Internet, it would soon ramp up in both of those arenas.
People really auctioning for the dread tho.. it's at 51$ ♀️— Takkarist McKinley (@Takk) September 29, 2017
And then a lot more. If my hair was getting these kinds of bids, I’d sell it too. If I had any hair, I mean.
The bid is officially at 1,025$ I think it's time to cut my dreads off and sell them ♀️— Takkarist McKinley (@Takk) September 29, 2017
Update 5,000$— Takkarist McKinley (@Takk) September 29, 2017
Update 10,000$— Takkarist McKinley (@Takk) September 29, 2017
Around this time, people started asking me how much I thought the dread would actually sell for, and I opined that the bidding could go as high as $25,000 before everyone sort of sobered up and realized what they were about to blow a substantial amount of money on. Sadly, we never got to find out, because eBay caught wind of the sale and apparently closed it down.
Will Takk ever get his dreadlock back? Will the seller realize his or her dream of making a lot of money for picking up hair off the Ford Field turf? For now, all we can do is yearn for answers.