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Our predictions for the final preseason game between the Falcons and Jaguars

Here’s what we think you should expect from the game ahead.

NFL: Preseason-Jacksonville Jaguars at Atlanta Falcons Dale Zanine-USA TODAY Sports


Falcons 420 - Jaguars 69

I predict you will be bored.

Alec Shirkey

Flacons 2, Jag Rags 0

Watch this.


AUGUST 31, 2117 - Today, the world celebrates the 100-year anniversary of Blake Bortles Day, the day upon which all of humanity was changed forever, having witnessed the greatest quarterbacking performance in all of human history. As we all know from our Blake Bortles World history wikibooks, August 31, 2017 was the day upon which His Excellency Sir Bortles passed for 1,037 yards, ran for another 281 yards, kicked an 80-yard field goal, and then ended the preseason game by flying off to the heavens. To think, there were actual people alive 100 years ago who spent their Thursday evening doing something other than watching the Jaguars-Falcons preseason football game which changed the entire course of humankind forever. (Fortunately, all individuals who made such a regrettable, costly decision were executed long ago, during the Bortles Crusade Purges of the 2030s.)

Kevin Knight

I’m a UCF fan and alumnus, so I guess I’ll get to watch Blake Bortles fall further into nothingness. He was so darn good at UCF in his final season, it’s sad to see it (potentially) end this way. Anyway, in Falcons news, don’t expect any major contributors to play more than a handful of snaps in this game. The main things to watch are the WR6 battle between Reggie Davis, Marvin Hall, and Nick Williams, the--hopefully--continued progress of Eric Saubert, and the fight for the practice squad between all the lower-level players. Also, hopefully Atlanta wins this game and gets the all-important preseason win monkey off their back.

Matt Chambers

Can the Falcons catch lightning in a bottle with Matt Simms? Well, we already answered this question, and the answer was no. I guess we can watch a lot of guys not good enough to make the Jaguars play against a lot of guys not good enough to make the Falcons. Really, the roster and practice squad are mostly figured out, with a few names pencilled in that could get moved around if they have a big game. Expect to turn this off by halftime after subjecting yourself to 30 minutes of poorly coordinated, poorly executed football by a bunch of guys who have no business being on the field. Sort of like watching a Mike Smith defense.

Caleb Rutherford

Much like Kevin, I will be watching to see how the WR6 battle pans out. Right now I’d rate it Hall (by virtue of being on special teams coverage as opposed to Davis) -> Davis -> Williams with my super dark horse Anthony Dable still waiting in the wings. I’m not convinced Dable is a surefire goner. I could see him being stashed on the PS but he’ll be 29 in September so his upside is probably near nonexistent. Rooting for Davis, expecting Hall, would be thrilled if we kept both. I’ve got my eye on a few other folks like Jermaine Grace and J’Terius Jones, who are making some serious noise and could make the roster as the last couple of names on the board.

Otherwise, subject yourselves to a delicious slice of Papa John’s while the game is on so you don’t hate yourself by halftime.