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Down here, all kicks float: Dan Quinn makes his weekly sacrifice

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“Hiya, Andre! Aren't you gonna say hello?” says Dan Quinn from a sewer drain. Andre Roberts knew no good could come from this.

Andre Roberts knew he was in trouble. He had another bad week for the Atlanta Falcons. He has had a disaster season returning the football, with only a called back touchdown to show for it. The team’s offense has been struggling, in part, because Roberts has made some bad decisions.

Sunday was no different, and now his head coach was talking to him from a sewer drain.

Ville Terenius

“I gotta go,” says Andre.

“Go, without downing the ball on the 8 yard line?”

Dan Quinn had clearly gotten way to into Halloween this year.

“You want it, don't you, Andre? Oh, of course you do... and there's taking the ball out of the endzone with no blocking, and fair catching at the three, and all sorts of surprises down here... and balloons too... All colors.”

Balloons to boot? Roberts couldn’t possibly turn that down. Before he knew it, Quinn grabbed his arm and brought him into an underground lair.

Roberts was used to kicks, but not kicks into a lake of fire. The bird’s eyes grew dark red, and watched Roberts in the pit. He has two choices: fail and live in the fire forever like Ed Hartwell, or bounce back against the Carolina Panthers.