One rookie feels the wrath of Samuel L. Falcon

Early in the season, he always felt like film review with Dan Quinn was weird. He had a number of great football coaches before, but Quinn was always different. His attention to hand usage was huge. He always stressed attacking the football. Quinn frequently smelled like a mix of smoke and brimstone. He said things like, “You have to shed this blocker better, or you’ll get............... burned. Not in a weird, paranormal way. In a football way.”

He should have put two and two together.

Desmond Trufant disappeared for four days without explanation, then returned without eyebrows. In retrospect, that was pretty dang weird. He always felt weirded out by the giant bird in front of the new Falcons stadium. It’s like it was watching him. After the Bills game, he could have sworn it blinked at him.

That would have been crazy, right? The stress of getting up to NFL speed must have been wearing on him. He didn’t think anything was weird until Quinn asked to meet him at the stadium to run over some drills.

“You’re too new for the fire pit, Duke, but Samuel L. Falcon needs a sacrifice. And he wants your hair.”

The bird took his trademarked hair, a stark reminder that he needs to do a much better job at wrapping up. He missed four tackles against Buffalo, an ongoing problem since he opened as a starter in Chicago. After a loss, those missed tackles stand out even more. This week, Riley was Atlanta’s worst player.

Samuel L. Falcon might not have any Super Bowl trophy, but he added Riley’s mullet to his trophy collection.