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One coach is sacrificed and another is awarded for the Saints game

Only three things in life are certain: death, taxes, and the weekly sacrifice to our giant, metal falcon god.


The Atlanta Falcons came out on top against the New Orleans Saints on Monday in easily one of Atlanta's best games ever against their rival. Matt Ryan was at the very top of his game and the defense was basically as bad as we have seen.

Even with the win, the falcon statue is angry. The bird's thirst for blood is never quenched. It demands Dan Quinn brings him another guilty party to bring the Falcons good luck through the rest of the season. Be strong, Quinn. This sacrifice is someone close to you, but Richard Smith must go.

Richard Smith statue

The falcon lair in the Flowery Branch practice building burns with the heat of a thousand lost seasons. McKay, Blank, and Dimitroff silently nod at the sacrifice. Smith will be missed, just not for his incompetent defense.

With our weekly sacrifice in the books, we award someone sacrificed last week. Rising out of the ashes like a phoenix, Kyle Shanahan orchestrated his best offense since joining Atlanta. Me Unnamed writers at this site have called for Shanahan to be fired multiple times. Now he gets the credit for a signature win.


I don't know how, but the offense finally worked. Bravo, Shanahan. If he keeps this going, he may be saved from our all-knowing, all-powerful falcon god.