Dan Quinn makes first sacrifice to appease new falcon statue: Bryan Cox

The Atlanta Falcons organization is nervous. They spent nearly $100 million in free agency, pulled in new starters from the draft, and are finishing up a $1.5 billion stadium. The results were the same. Dan Quinn knows pressure is mounting, and the Mercedez-Benz stadium’s monstrous, chrome statue is displeased.

Quinn must leave an offering at the altar of the bird to bring divine favor to the team. The Falcons will only become truly fast and physical with a blood sacrifice to this higher power: the all-knowing, all-powerful, 42-foot tall falcon.

But who is to blame for Atlanta’s poor performance? Who is truly worthy to be eaten by this deity?

Who is responsible for this?

We covered SBN’s Stephen White’s criticism of our team’s pass rush. As he sees it, no one has improved in years and none of the defensive linemen have notable technique. Veterans and rookies continue to struggle. The coaches have gotten a career best year out of no one.

This is Cox’s third year in Atlanta, and he couldn’t produce a single sack on 33 drop backs. Winston isn’t particularly quick on his feet, his delivery isn’t particularly speedy, and his offensive line isn’t particularly good. Atlanta managed some pressure early on the sophomore quarterback, but Winston never struggled.

This is a bad start to the season, and Quinn must bring the guiltiest party to the claws of our football god. The Falcons can only truly soar once this bird has been appeased. That offering is Bryan Cox.

We plan to sacrifice a member of the team to the big statue every week, except in the rare circumstance where no one on the team messes up. Huge thanks to @ThatTerenius for putting together the images.