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Bird Watch: Kansas City Chiefs Edition

Putting the birds on blast every week of the season.


Welcome, you dirtiest of birds, to this week’s edition of Bird Watch. In this weekly segment, we will provide you a list of people, places or things which we have our eyes on.

Whether it be due to poor performance, a bad feeling or the need for an individual to RISE UP, the members of this list had better tread lightly, because we will be watching.

The Falcons came off the bye week and picked up right where they left off for much of the first half of the season. Atlanta’s defense locked things down in the second half, and Taylor Gabriel set the new speed record for land mammals while also doing a couple of football things.

It feels like each and every week there are new reasons why the upcoming game is one of the toughest to date. With an 8-3 Kansas City team coming to Atlanta, the Falcons must once again get ready to face a quality opponent.

At least, that’s if the Chiefs can even make it to the Georgia Dome. As we all know, the Atlanta Braves are just down the road, and Indian tribes have historically been a bit territorial. This could be a great game, but the real showdown may happen before the 1 PM kickoff.

Now, it’s time to pull out those binoculars and go bird watching.

De’Vondre Campbell and Deion Jones: The Falcons’ secondary did a good job limiting Arizona’s downfield passing attack, but Cardinals running back David Johnson caught 8 passes for 103 yards and a touchdown. He could have had an even better receiving outing had the reanimated corpse of Carson Palmer not thrown the ball into the turf on a couple of check down looks. Keep in mind the Cardinals want to push the ball downfield and aren’t looking for the short passes too often. But, and this is where it gets scary, THAT’S BASICALLY THE CHIEFS’ ENTIRE OFFENSE. Spencer Ware could have a field day against Atlanta if Campbell and Jones aren’t locked in on him out of the backfield. And by field day, I mean he could literally be running around the field all day. See also: Travis Kelce.

Offensive line: Atlanta’s offensive line played well against Arizona, helping the Falcons run for 116 yards and giving Matt Ryan time to work outside of that horrible start to the second half. As has been the case for much of the season, this unit will face a very talented defensive line. Justin Houston is playing better football right now than the entire Houston Texans combined, and he has the ability to take over games. Dee Ford and Tamba Hali are two more talented defenders on that front, as is Chris Jones. The Chiefs have been dealing with injuries along the defensive line, and this game is nowhere near as important to Kansas City as the one it just played against Denver or will play on Thursday night against Oakland. They may choose to get some guys a little rest, but Atlanta still needs to be prepared.

Keanu Neal: Personal foul penalties in back-to-back weeks isn’t a great sign for the rookie safety. Not because he’s hurting his team, but because he doesn’t need to be playing with any less intensity. Neal needs to make smarter choices for his own safety and the safety of others, but trying to slow down or adjust at the last second is arguably more dangerous. Keep doing what you’re doing, Keanu. As the wise and prophetic Miley Cyrus once said, “Forget the haters, cuz somebody loves ya.”

Travis Kelce: Kelce isn’t just a massively underrated thrower of towels, he’s also a pretty darn good tight end. He leads the Chiefs with 675 receiving yards this season and has great body control and route-running ability. In trying to find something funny to say about his last name, I stumbled upon this little gem from Urban Dictionary.

“The definition of a Kelce is a girl wid a big booty. She gotta good sense of style, knows how to make people smile, and dont take NO SHYTT from anyone. Everyone knows her, and they all same the same. Shes a sweetheart. Everyone enjoys her company.

She may break your heart, but dont you worry, she'll have your back for dont you worry, she'll have your back for life. She's a true friend who will be there for you through thick and thin. BUT DONT EVER be a b*tch to her. You'll be asking for a knock out.”

Just try to watch Travis Kelce play on Sunday without thinking that he is just a “girl wid a big booty.” You’re welcome.

New Orleans Saints: They hate us and we hate them. Ancient legend has it that every time Brandin Cooks gets a target, an angel gets its wings.