clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Help us name the vengeful, blood-thirsty falcon deity that demands sacrifices

New, comments

About a month ago we thought it would be kind of funny if Dan Quinn started sacrificing players and coaches to a photoshopped version on the new statue going in front of Mercedes-Benz stadium.

Apologies to staff writer Kendall Jackson, who never asked for this.
Apologies to staff writer Kendall Jackson, who never asked for this.

The Atlanta Falcons are undefeated in that time. Atlanta's most dominant stretch in decades came only when @ThatTerenius puts in a new face to be ceremoniously tossed into a lake of fire.

Coincidence? Impossible.

The sacrifices are clearly working, so we are bound by fandom to continue the series throughout the season. Based on reader responses, people really like the article. There's also a small percentage of people who really, really hate the series. That's pretty awesome.

What's not awesome? We don't have a name for the statue. Dan Quinn can't sacrifice a dedicated employee to a lake of fire in front of a nameless, sentient metal bird. That wouldn't make any sense, and we strive for professhionalism at the Falcoholic.

Here's your chance: post a potential name in the comments and we will select the best one. We will select one of the top five most rec'd suggestions and introduce the name on Monday when we finally sacrifice Robert Alford after he gets at least two personal penalties so please stop requesting we sacrifice him it is coming up I swear.

Write in whatever you think is the funniest, scariest, most clever, or just barely obscene enough that we will slide it through. Zuul the Gatekeeper of Gozer, Susan, Falcy McFalcface. Give us your best.