Falcons vs. Vikings: A Tweet Recap

Let me just start by saying this.

Current mood: RT @dhm: This is my favorite NFL thing today so far. http://t.co/Jp8NCBek8r

— Jeanna (@jeannathomas) September 29, 2014

I'll be honest, I don't even feel like writing a tweet recap. I don't feel like writing anything about this team, because my parents taught me that if you don't have anything nice to say, then you shouldn't say anything at all. Based on that wisdom, this is one of those times where I should simply keep all of my thoughts to myself, because I've got nothing but hate in my heart for that defensive performance in particular. However, it seems like people really like the tweet recap, and if it cheers up even one Falcons fan, it'll be worth it.

I’ll be honest, I mainly tweet during #Falcons game day to try and get on the @TheFalcoholic tweet recap by @jeannathomas

— The DW (@TheWalkerman) September 28, 2014

@TheWalkerman @TheFalcoholic @jeannathomas I do as many tweets as possible.

— Kendall Jackson (@projectjax) September 28, 2014

@TheWalkerman @TheFalcoholic @jeannathomas I always feel accomplished if I make it

— Kristen (@kristenm2185) September 28, 2014

@TheWalkerman @TheFalcoholic @jeannathomas Yup. Makes me feel important.

— Jenna Bannister #DBN (@JennaEarwood) September 28, 2014

The times, they are a-changin', Evil Matt Ryan.

@TheWalkerman @TheFalcoholic @jeannathomas think they hate me, I've never made the cut. :(

— EvilMattRyan (@EvilMattRyan) September 28, 2014

Things got off to a rocky start.

I need a drink…and I don’t drink. Jesus be with me. #ATLvsMIN

— Krissy Brierre (@krissybri) September 28, 2014

Don't get too excited, Vikes fans. We love to let rookies shine. It's kind of our thing.

— Jenna Bannister #DBN (@JennaEarwood) September 28, 2014

#BlameBravo #BlameBravo #BlameBravo (Yes, I'm bitter. Kroy gots ta go.)

— WonderJaye (@WonderJaye) September 28, 2014

Blood pressure already up! Lol, love my Falcons!

— J.A.R. (@jstorm404) September 28, 2014

Falcons got me all in my feelings already.

— Preya ॐ (@PreyaMargarita) September 28, 2014

There were some good things, like Roddy White being insanely wide open for a touchdown.

Roddy White was wide open like the Falcons were playing "Offense Only" in practice mode on Madden

— Nathan Butler Jr. (@ATLSportsNate) September 28, 2014

#Falcons w/ a fake jailbreak screen. Roddy White fakes block for Julio Jones, then dashes upfield for wide-open TD. *tips hat to Koetter*

— Coy Wire (@CoyWire) September 28, 2014

They were super successful at that. RT @SteveInBrooklyn @FalconsM5 The Vikings sold out to cover Harry Douglas on that play

— Matt (@FalconsM5) September 28, 2014

But then things went back to awful again in short order.

Leave it to the Atlanta Falcons defense to make Matt Asiata look like Adrian Peterson in his prime.

— Matt (@FalconsM5) September 28, 2014

Hey, I’ve got a great idea, let’s use Kroy Biermann to do HORRIBLE THINGS WUT IN THE WORLD!?! #Falcons

— The DW (@TheWalkerman) September 28, 2014

Mike Nolan's defensive game plan is a mustard stain on his shirt.

— The Falcoholic (@TheFalcoholic) September 28, 2014

Also, will my nerves ever be good enough to watch a Falcons game?

— J. Monique (@Mme_Falcon) September 28, 2014

Some other good things happened offensively--Matt Ryan was making plays through the air and with his legs. Antone Smith was doing Antone Smith things. Julio was doing what he does best, and the run game was even moving pretty effectively. It was just enough to give fans hope.

Antone Smith doing EXPLOSIVE things

— The DW (@TheWalkerman) September 28, 2014

First down pass to Julio Jones. Let this be the start of something unspeakably beautiful.

— The Falcoholic (@TheFalcoholic) September 28, 2014

It's amazing how many times people ask me "WHERE IS JULIO JONES" followed by a series of Julio Jones catches.

— The Falcoholic (@TheFalcoholic) September 28, 2014

"Matt Ryan and his athletic ability" is not something you hear often.

— Alex Welch (@alexmwelch) September 28, 2014

@alexmwelch at least he didn't say "deceptively athletic"

— Swaggy PhD (@Das_ProfX) September 28, 2014

Matt Ryan showing his play making ability again today. Extending plays

— Carl Dukes (@putemupcdukes) September 28, 2014

Matt Ryan the escape artist!!!!

— F.I.L.A. (@joegreen23atl) September 28, 2014

Nice play by Steven Jackson... but he can never be Matt Asiata.

— Matt (@FalconsM5) September 28, 2014

Devin Hester is the Swiss Army knife of the NFL #ATLvsMIN #RiseUp

— war - low (@rarehighfives) September 28, 2014

WE BELIEVE IN YOU, OFFENSE. Defense. I'm still not speaking to you.

— Jenna Bannister #DBN (@JennaEarwood) September 28, 2014

He did, but somehow it was actually the least embarrassing thing that happened during this game.

Did Mike Smith just pull a booger out of his nose?

— HometeamBrandonLeak (@Hometeam_BLeak) September 28, 2014

Matt Chernoff makes a good point.

The #Falcons should onside kick to start the 2nd half. In fact they should onside kick all the time.

— Matt Chernoff (@RealMattlanta) September 28, 2014

Past a point, this game was just a catastrophe. It was mostly a dumpster fire of a performance.

()#$Y*(Y$*)U$#I(@)#I@#(!)I@#!

— WonderJaye (@WonderJaye) September 28, 2014

To be fair, Linval Joseph is the Matt Asiata of the Vikings defense.

— Matt (@FalconsM5) September 28, 2014

@TheWalkerman I wanna believeeeeee in something called a three and out.

— Allen Strk (@Allen_Strk) September 28, 2014

Sprayberry High School's Jerick McKinnon is unfortunately impossible to tackle

— Jason Kirk (@JasonKirkSBN) September 28, 2014

Hahahahahahha omg I'm suddenly aware of how sober I am.

— Jenna Bannister #DBN (@JennaEarwood) September 28, 2014

Fewer $2 words, more four-letter ones, please >> RT @AlecCampbell5: This defense is deplorable. #Falcons

— Knox Bardeen (@KnoxonFox) September 28, 2014

OMG, Roddy. 3 drops, WTH

— The DW (@TheWalkerman) September 28, 2014

FLAG CITY #ATLvsMIN

— Below Standard (@CourtsBS) September 28, 2014

Mike Smith stared at his team, flinty-eyed and proud. "Go out there and play some stupid football, boys," he said, intensely.

— The Falcoholic (@TheFalcoholic) September 28, 2014

@TheFalcoholic - As they ran out of the tunnel, every Falcons player tapped the "Play Like A Dumbass Today" inspirational sign.

— Bruno (@Brunosophy) September 28, 2014

Sometimes all you can say is a series of curses.

— The Falcoholic (@TheFalcoholic) September 28, 2014

Why does it look like we only have 3 defenders on the field? I know some guys are hurt but you have to replace them with other guys.

— Jenna Bannister #DBN (@JennaEarwood) September 28, 2014

ARE WE PLAYING DEFENSE AT ALL??!?!?!!?!?! LIKE WTF.

— Krissy Brierre (@krissybri) September 28, 2014

These points are on Mike Smith. He should know better than to expect this defense to get a stop. Awful decision.

— Matt Chernoff (@RealMattlanta) September 28, 2014

My liver is still recovering from last year. MAKE THIS STOP

— Kristen (@kristenm2185) September 28, 2014

Arthur Blank standing up in his box with a blank stare on his face as Vikings marched down the field and score again. Under review.

— vaughn mcclure (@vxmcclure23) September 28, 2014

If this is supposed to be the way to convince some of us to pony up for PSLs, it's not working.

— WonderJaye (@WonderJaye) September 28, 2014

@TheFalcoholic Four, if you count the Vikings lineman who came closest.

— Greg Benage (@GregBenage) September 28, 2014

Ok I've resorted to saying bad words. I need to look away for a few minutes. #ATLvsMIN

— Kimberly (@TheFalconsDiva) September 28, 2014

What are we even doing?

— #DBN (@lovemefalcons) September 28, 2014

My heart hurts.

— Kimberly (@TheFalconsDiva) September 28, 2014

Oh, hey, Tom, this is a pretty neat idea.

#Falcons have opened 3 drives with an extra offensive lineman. Not so sure I wouldn't do that more. Make #Vikings combat strength.

— Tom Pelissero (@TomPelissero) September 28, 2014

Except the Falcons couldn't keep doing that because of the injuries--my goodness, the injuries. The hits just kept on coming, literally and figuratively. At least we know Kemal Ishmael is okay, because he returned to the game.

Great RT @Atlanta_Falcons: William Moore officially ruled out of today's game with a shoulder injury. #ATLvsMIN

— Butta (@ScuDDa_ScuDDa) September 28, 2014

Justin Blalock has a back injury and his return is questionable. #ATLvsMIN

— Jay Adams (@FalconsJAdams) September 28, 2014

SADDDDDDDDD "@Atlanta_Falcons William Moore officially ruled out of today's game with a shoulder injury. #ATLvsMIN"

— J to the (@J_4short) September 28, 2014

Falcons now down 2 OL and S Moore out. RT @Atlanta_Falcons: Lamar Holmes has a foot injury and is questionable to return. #ATLvsMIN

— Brian Hall (@MNBrianHall) September 28, 2014

JOE BRAWLEY DOESNT DESERVE THIS

— Kristen (@kristenm2185) September 28, 2014

Hawley ruled out with knee injury. Kemal Ishmael now banged up. Southward in.

— vaughn mcclure (@vxmcclure23) September 28, 2014

Whoever let the injury bug into the stadium...please get the bug spray ASAP and terminate him...#PleaseAndThankYou

— Brandon Ruth (@FalconsBRuth) September 28, 2014

The Falcons didn't even have enough active offensive linemen to address the holes left by injury. They played the remainder of the game with four offensive linemen and one very tall, slender tight end at tackle.

Peter Konz just gave up a sack in warmups.

— Matt (@FalconsM5) September 28, 2014

Put me in, coach. I am 170 pounds of speed bump.

— The Falcoholic (@TheFalcoholic) September 28, 2014

The Falcons quite literally only have four offensive linemen on the field so it's whatever.

— Jeanna (@jeannathomas) September 28, 2014

I MEAN, do y’all realize we have a TIGHT END playing at right tackle?!?!? What do you expect? I can’t.

— Krissy Brierre (@krissybri) September 28, 2014

Matt Ryan threw two garbage time picks, and then Ronde Barber decided to make everyone dislike him more than we did previously by stating that Matt Ryan can't win on the road.

Last I checked Matt Ryan is on a TEAM FULL OF GUYS WHO ALSO DON'T WIN ON THE ROAD.

— Jeanna (@jeannathomas) September 28, 2014

Defense gives up 70000 yards, Falcons lose 60% of starting offensive linemen, and it's "Matt Ryan can't win on the road?" Go away.

— Jeanna (@jeannathomas) September 28, 2014

Also, anybody blaming Matt Ryan for this may as well wear a cone hat and a big chain that reads "I AM A DUMBASS AND PROBABLY ILLITERATE"

— Demetrius (@fergoe) September 28, 2014

If Ryan had all day in the pocket 2 pick his nose, call his mom & then throw a pass like Bridgewater, he would've thrown 10 TDs #ATLvsMIN

— Sheena Phelps (@SheenaPhelps) September 28, 2014

Matt Ryan cant win on the road if our defense is still stuck at home

— ❄ Mikey Ice ❄ (@Blaze_in_3D) September 28, 2014

Is it time for torches and pitchforks? It's probably not worth it.

While I understand and respect the torches and pitchforks, no decisions get made while this team is 2-2, tied for NFC South lead.

— The Falcoholic (@TheFalcoholic) September 28, 2014

@TheFalcoholic I'm past torches and pitchforks and onto flamethrowers.

— J. Monique (@Mme_Falcon) September 28, 2014

At the very least, it's probably wise to prepare for an inconsistent season at best, because Dave is right. I don't believe anyone will be fired in the immediate future.

Me, right now! #ATLvsMIN pic.twitter.com/UoGvs0hrXy

— Sheena Phelps (@SheenaPhelps) September 28, 2014

Going to be an up and down year... #Falcons pic.twitter.com/DwMFYiIuCJ

— Micheal Robinson (@nyyrobinson) September 28, 2014

Ah well...I'm not letting football get me down. I'm just gonna channel my rage into sarcasm and humor.

— J. Monique (@Mme_Falcon) September 28, 2014

I love the #Falcons but can we ever dial in the defense? #ATLvsMIN #RiseUp pic.twitter.com/h4wLeX1TXb

— MJ (@emjay2124) September 28, 2014

@TheFalcoholic NOBODY MAKES ME FEEL MY OWN FEELINGS! NOBODY!! pic.twitter.com/d85ezo6LFE

— Bonnie Bowman (@b0nnie22) September 29, 2014

Here's a helpful tip for coping with the state of the 2014 Falcons.

Join me #FalconsFam. pic.twitter.com/kYD8pjpI68

— Jake Bennett (@DirtyBird_Jake) September 28, 2014