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The Life And Times Of Julio Jones


SCENE: A hospital room in Alabama, on February 3, 1989. A woman is giving birth under the watchful eyes of a DOCTOR and NURSES.

NURSE: Just one more push, ma'am, and you've got yourself a new baby boy! What are you naming him?

QUEEN MARVIN: (through gritted teeth) I'm going to call him Quintorris Lopez.

NURSE: That's a beautiful name! Alright, honey, here we go. Here's Quintorris!

Julio Jones enters the world, softly crying. Everyone in the room smiles. Julio's mother sighs, deeply.

DOCTOR: Congratulations! He's as healthy as they come. I bet you can't wait to...

Suddenly, a football flies in through an open window. Before anyone can react...

JULIO JONES: /catches ball

DOCTOR: My God! Your son just caught that utterly random football!

QUEEN MARVIN: That was quite random.

JULIO JONES goes on to live the life of an NFL superstar, but the catching that began with his birth does not quench his thirst for knowledge. After a 20 year career in which he shatters every major receiving record, JONES wanders into the wilderness, catching birds, insects and even the wind itself. In the end, he makes peace with himself.

One thousand, six hundred and forty-two days in the future, a three-mile-wide meteor collides with earth. A raging hellstorm is released upon the earth following the impact, leading to mass extinction of most species, boiling the oceans, releasing enormous clouds of steam into the atmosphere, unleashing clouds of acidic rain and creating a massive crater. Life as we know it has been extinguished, and following days of furious sound and fire, all is silent.

JULIO JONES: /catches ball