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Real Talk: The Falcons Should Just Fire Mike Smith

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Fact: When Mike Smith coaches a game for the Falcons, a reindeer loses its antlers.

Kevin Hoffman-USA TODAY Sports

Just fire him. Do it now. Like a Sponge Bob Square Pants band-aid, it will hurt less if we yank him quickly.

I'm completely serious, really I am. Let's start by considering the evidence against him. Sure, this will be his first losing season as the Falcons' head coach. And sure, Arthur Blank stands behind him. But if all a coach can do is take us to the playoffs in 4 of his 6 seasons en route to being the winningest coach in the team's history, I'm highly unimpressed.

Smith never really had what it takes to manage this team. Heck, if he hadn't married Brian Billick's sister, he'd probably still be at Tennessee Tech. Sheer luck, an awesome safari hat, and Thomas Dimitroff's hair pomade are the only reasons Mike Smith has the 20th highest winning percentage in NFL history. I know, he's got a winning percentage higher than Mike Tomlin, Mike McCarthy, Andy Reid, John Fox, Tom Coughlin, and Marvin Lewis - I just don't care. There's an assistant or college coach just waiting to take us to the promised land!

There are a number of things a new coach could fix. I'm talking about the things that made this season such an utter failure. First, a new coach could could prevent injuries, because Smith sucks at that. I blame him for that faulty screw in Julio Jone's foot, and nothing you can say will convince me I'm wrong. Second, a new coach could make former second round draft pick and heralded college lineman Peter Konz play like an actual NFLer. We all know Konz's struggles are all Smith's fault, I'm just the only one acknowledging it. Third, a new coach could get the Falcons a salary cap exemption, allowing us to sign a reputable defensive end to pair with Osi Umenyiora. Smith has settled for the same old salary cap throughout his tenure in Atlanta, and that's simply not good enough.

Think of it: a new Falcons coach, getting us the elusive Lombardi in year one. He'd have to better than Smith, no doubt about that. It's as close to a sure thing as sure things get.

Are you with me?!