clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Conspiracy Theorist: Atlanta's Curse and Aaron Rodgers for President

I think the same deity that took over Marshawn Lynch against the Saints gave Aaron Rodgers a visit last week.
I think the same deity that took over Marshawn Lynch against the Saints gave Aaron Rodgers a visit last week.

In THIS series of posts, I ramble on and on about how the Falcons are cursed/voodoo'd/bewitched/etc. and how Cubs fans don't understand anything because birds don't live as long as baseball players. One Falcon year is about 4 human years. Since the Falcons have been around "45 years", we've actually gone 180 years without a championship. Take that, Cubs.

We must be cursed. Newly elected President of Dallas Aaron Rodgers played the literal game of his life against us last week and our beloved Falcons' season kicked the bucket.

He shredded our secondary, kept our offense off the field - wait, we have an offense? - and then proceeded to strut around wearing this.

So, humor me, Falcoholics. What the heck happened?

I've gone on record here saying that our game against the Pack was an anomaly. But then when Aaron Rodgers looked less than ordinary against a Bears D that (was awesome in fantasy) shouldn't have given a showing leaps and bounds better than ours, I began to wonder what the heck was up.

I'm not so sure I've ever believed in curses and whatnot, but you can't deny that we've been on the wrong side of a lot of stupidity here in Atlanta. Poor Brooks Conrad.

Someone mentioned this a few weeks ago, but Samkon Gado? Is he even playing anymore? If said reader recalled correctly, Mister Gado tore our defense asunder in a particular big game a few years ago. I think we should just start calling all these anomalies Samkon Gados.

Atlanta teams, for whatever reason, have the most ridiculous things happen to them in big games. Yes, we won a lot of big regular season games, but I've never seen anything quite like what we all witnessed against the Pack.

Even if you consider the good things (Gary Anderson missing a FG in '99 for the first time in an eternity, Braves playing team more cursed than us) along with the bad things (Aaron Rodgers eleventy billion QB rating against us and the Eagles existing in '04) they're all almost anomalous. Brooks Conrad's errors, the Hawks teasing us by taking the Celtics to game 7 a couple years ago (and then losing in typical ugly fashion), then trading away wins with the Heat last year, all of those things are/were anomalous for their time.

To take it a step further, you could even look at the Dawgs always, always, always losing to Florida, regardless of how good/bad either team was that year.

Things like this just don't happen year in and year out, but they seem to be an almost normal occurrence for Atlanta sports, and I can't figure out why. The Braves went to the postseason many, many times during Bobby Cox's coaching tenure, but only got one championship? This stuff is even happening across different sports!

You know, at one point, the Patriots (who used to be terrible, just like us) had won 3 of 4 Super Bowls? But the Braves only won 1 World Series despite having 15 (or whatever the number is) straight postseason appearances to get to it?

What? WHAT? Someone help me out, here. We can't possibly be actually cursed, can we?

We need to hammer out some ideas as to what's really going on here. Any ideas? Conspiracy? Smoke and mirrors? Ovie Crash Test Dummies? I bet some of the seasoned veteran fans on this board have more anomaly memories than I do, but it sure does seem like something fishy is going on!