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Saturday Six Pack 4/24/10: Van Halen Edition

There's still war in this war room -- only four more rounds to go. Tomorrow we'll have in-depth writeups on last night's and today's action, but we gotta get through today first. Open thread's on the way, and down below you'll find links to load up your browser's background tabs with. This will allow you to busy yourself whenever the Browns are on the clock and ESPN's interviewing a doctor who knew the doctor who delivered the doctor who delivered a guy who knows Tebow. Pre-game:


  1. AF: Sean Weatherspoon's official bio at Not much to see here -- just thought many of our members may want to keep checking back in periodically to make sure Spoon-based dreams really do come true.
  2. J. Mike Spoon's introductory press conference features succulent delectables like Comrade calling him a "four-down linebacker" and Smitty touting the rookie's ability to stay on the field even when the offense goes four-wide. Spoon also shares his experiences of playing quarterback, making All-District as a small forward, and being relentlessly recruited by Missouri despite having to move all over the region due to Hurricane Rita.
  3. Yasinkas: Yasinkas goes in on the Jimmy Clausen vs. Matt Moore saga to the tune of 1,200 words. BARELY RELATED: Who should we root for? When it comes to division foes, I say we pull for whoever's the most hateable. As Clausen went to that awful school and has such a snotty gaffe of a face and is a ridiculous person, he comes with all munitions-grade Rival Disgust Fuel modules already installed. Moore seems like an OK guy and doesn't have an uppity little Garbage Pail Kid face. So.
  4. Falcons Biz: Biz digs up four Spoon videos, including an eight-minute scouting report, a free-wheelin' seven-minute tour of Mizzou by Spoon himself, and -- the clear favorite -- Spoon confessing his appreciation fondness love desire need constant yearning for Van Halen's "Right Now."
  5. Arrowhead Pride: Beloved, charitable Comrade establishes covert soviet with czar of midwest worker group! Organizes coup! Tricks thirty typically foolish American sports clubs into presuming Kansas Warlords lack interest in Eric Berry, son of Golden Globe film star! All part of charming scheme by Comrade to ensure retrieving of young midwest Spoonsmith! Do not ask how this is so!
  6. J. Mike: Did anybody make it out to Taco Mac Thursday night? Apparently they had a special Falcons-only channel supplementing Bermanspan. For those of us that somehow passed on a night slathered in $4 queso, J. Mike is nice enough to drop off all the stuff we missed out on, including video interviews with CEO, Comrade, Rich McKay, Wes Durham, and so forth. Rich McKay only available in mild, hot, and three mile island.