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Wednesday Happy Hour Six Pack 4/21/10: No Business But Draft Business

Link post on a Wednesdee? Wakka Flocka says leh do it:


SB Nation Mocks: Niners Nation (Spoon), Niners Nation community (♫ Derriiick Mooorgan! ♪) Bolts from the Blue (Graham), Stampede Blue (Kyle Wilson?) Big Cat Country (Spoon), and Big Cat Country seconds (Graham).

Simmons: BS drops his first-ever mock draft. Unlike most of the other 478 billion mock drafts annually belched out by every typewriter on earth, this one features six trades, admissions of ignorance and boredom when appropriate, plausible slips and surprises, and befuddled common sense (on Sam Bradford going #1: "You know, any time you can take someone first in a draft when everyone agrees he isn't one of the best two players, you have to do it"). We don't always appreciate BS, especially during basketball season when his Hawks hatred pretends not to rear its dismissive head, but this is likely the most readable mock draft written by anyone besides SB Nation's all-seeing assortments of glory.

Gobbler Country: Hey NFL teams who've drafted Virginia Tech players: Hokie bloggers want to know whether you're satisfied with your purchases? Oh gosh guys, other than the two first-rounders, one second-rounder, one third-rounder (in the Mike Vick trade), and two fifth-rounders we blew on Blacksburg turkeys in the past decade with nothing to show for it other than hilarious photos of dogs interacting with Falcon jerseys, I'd say we have pretty high opinions of the student-athletes produced by the Institute and State University and are likely to keep shopping with great confidence until we fill up our punch card* and get a free special teamer value meal. At this point, going back to the Hokie well would require Steve Zahn's character from Treme telling us, "When Goodell asks you if you're sure, say yes." MY JIMMY WILLIAMS ARRIVED QUICK, CLEAN, & HIGH!!! A+++ WOULD DRAFT AGAIN **

* Ha ha "punch card," as in a card that says "Mike Smith punched DeAngelo Hall right in the throat."

** No seriously, we realize the Marcus Vicks of the world aren't representative of Beamer's program. Come on back to Atlanta one more time, Jason Worilds.

Falcons Time Machine: Vote for the all-time best Falcons draft pick. Look at you all, look at you right now as you're turning your keyboards upside down trying to figure out which button to push to vote for Sean Weatherspoon. (Correct answer: Prime.)

Falcons Time Machine: Speak of the day-glo devil, here's a look back at the draft that turned up the most talented athlete in city history.

Shutdown Corner: In the file marked Reasons Not To Draft Demaryius Thomas Or Any Other Wide Receiver, go ahead and slide ten or twelve copies of this list of the biggest draft busts from the past decade. I haven't seen the letters W and R next to each other so many times in a row since the Whig party merged with the Republican party in 1856!!! You may be tempted to suggest adding Jamaal Anderson to SC's list, but wait til you look at what's actually on it -- we're talking guys who couldn't hack it in the Canadian Football League, not guys who got slid over to defensive tackle after three years.