As a tribute to the anachronism that plays at the Dome about 490 times per game, Adam and I are ganging up on the Falcoholic's second official 2010 mock draft. Click here if you missed Dave's, and let's get to it.
We'll hand the Comrade Baton (HEY NOW) back and forth after every pick. Surely we'll agree with each other's picks and won't waste precious time sniping in the war room. Looks like it's time for pick #19 aaaaaaaaaand CURVEBALL ALERT.
We're trading down. This draft is too loaded to sit tight. And I don't think we're so in love with either Sean Weatherspoon or Brandon Graham that we have to insist on standing still at 19th like we bought that pick at a yard sale and the wife is telling us to get rid of it but we swear we're gonna fix it up.
A potentially dominant pass rusher can be had later in the first round anyway. And as Durst shared, pass rusher is just about the riskiest player role to draft for. So why not hedge our bet by picking up an extra third round pick? Now we just need a sucker willing trade partner.
We know of a team that's very interested in Sean Weatherspoon -- and so are this team's fans. We know their coach likes to go all in -- and so does ours. Your Atlanta Falcons are making a deal with the devil, trading pick #19 to the New Orleans Saints for picks #32 and #95, and you can just learn to love it. (If you aren't happy about this, you're free to pretend the Taints also threw in their entire 2011 draft allotment as an ode to Mike Ditka.) Come on -- don't you think big-talking Spoon would fit in better with loudmouths like Jeremy Shockey and Jonathan Vilma than with classy pros like Tony Gonzalez and Curtis Lofton? Spoon seems like a nice guy, and we'd love to have him. I'm just saying.
On the clock:
Pick #32 by Jason:
We need a pass rusher, and we need an outside linebacker. Why not draft the outside linebacker who's also projected by Football Outsiders to be this year's best pass rusher? Best as in best -- as in better than Derrick Morgan or Brandon Graham. Jerry Hughes averaged a sack per start during his career at TCU. Here you can see condensed footage of his performances against BYU.
The knocks against him include his Dwight Freeney-esque size (see what I did there?), but we're converting him to full-time linebacker anyway.
Tag.
Pick #85 by Adam:
I don't trade to enemies. I just don't. Never have, never will. Really, the nerve of some people. Anyway, if we're going to play through this charade, I'll say we pick up Texas WR Jordan Shipley here to make sure Jenkins feels a volcano's worth of heat on his bum.
And what if Jenks falls out of the number 2 WR position? Shipley's a comfy-blanket in the short passing game and Ryan needs one that doesn't wear Tony's bullseye-like double eights.
Pick #95 by Jason:
You know, haters got all naggy when Thomas Jefferson handed Napoleon $15 million in the Louisiana Purchase, and I think we can all agree that's worked out for the best. Just saying -- sometimes it's a good idea to swindle a few evil Frenchmen. With our brand new pick #95, we're plunking in a ten-year starter like it's nothing.
Boston College C Matt Tennant is an obvious pick for a reason -- he fits like old Hanes. He's of the Harvey Dahl-Todd McClure mold, as he's nimble, smart, and tough, but not a huge lummox -- though he won't be overmatched physically a' la 170-pound Jordan Shipley. He's worked with Matt Ryan before, can become the apprentice of one of the best centers in the league, and can provide depth at guard in the meantime. It's such an easy pick, and it just feels so snug and warm and cushioned in the lumbar area.
Pick #98 by Adam:
Using a shiny-though-slightly-used traded pick for a center that can barely make the 300 lb mark with pads and soaking wet jeans on? Did I die and resurrect as a Bills fan or something? Sounds like those frenchmen weren't the ones who were swindled.
With our #98 pick, we choose Alabama CB Javier Arenas. Yeah, his coverage skills aren't the highlight of his career, but with his speed and return abilities, why not take a chance on him? If he doesn't work out at CB, he can always be our return specialist.
Pick #117 by Jason:
I agree. It's ok if we take a few wild-eyed devil-may-LOL tequila flyers on unproven why-not willy-nilly crapshots like Arenas, as long as I continue to hold down this entire show with Maytag-made can't-missers like three-year starting defensive end C.J. Wilson of East Carolina. This really, really impressive young man is as as renowned for his 26 sacks as he is for his leadership and intelligence, and we would all do well to raise our sons with C.J. Wilson in mind.
Some of you like numbers, and I'm peppering you with 6'3", 290, 4.75 40, 180 tackles, and 32 reps of 225 pounds, equaling Ndamukong Suh's epic upper-body strength. Sounds pretty good to me. How about you, Adam?
Pick #149 by Adam:
The last time I went to East Carolina... Wait. I thought it was North and South? Well, at pick number 149, the Falcons eschew a player from a fake university (someone check Wilson's degree, please) in favor of Alabama TE Colin Peek.
Peek may be a bit lithe on the blocking side of things, but he helped clear the way for Trent Richardson and the Heisman winner Mark Ingram. I don't care what anyone says, this guy can block. He can also run routes like the Gonzo and can make those clutch, "opponent draped over the body" type catches that could prove to be useful once Tony decides to hang up the cleats. Peek may be a Peele-ish player, but I think his route running ability far outshines that of Peele's and can prove to be valuable to the team.
Pick #165 by Jason:
Colin Peek? Not sure why we're grabbing a guy who's already bailed on one Atlanta football team. If he'll ditch the most historic sports program in the entire state of Georgia (let's take it to the backyard of the comment section with team logo car flags flying, everybody who just screwfaced), who's to say he won't be Bobby P*trino II come training camp? What's next? Will we sign Mark Teixeira to play safety? Maybe General William T. Sherman can replace Wes Durham as the radio voice of the Falcons.
However, Peek does meet a -- ahem -- "need," and frees me up to select Myron Rolle, FSU's Rhodes-scholar safety. Believe it or not, he's projected by most sources to go as late as round 6, so we'll grab him at the tail end of round 5. Rolle is one of the smartest and hardest-working football players ever, plus he's a solid athlete who obsesses over his technique, and I'm quite confident this is a pick that even a casual weekend semi-observer like Adam can applaud.
Pick #171 by Adam:
Who needs General Sherman to announce when I can personally guarantee that Rolle will be available in a couple of years. A Rhodes scholar actually making it in the NFL? Nah, those crazy Oxfordian "futbol" fans will convert him. Expect him to make his MLS debut with the Galaxy sometime next Spring. He'll be a power forward, because his brain is so powerful. Unlike the reactionary, superflous thoughts of my dear cohort Jason, I fully and honestly expect the Falcons to actually take someone at a position of real need at their second to last pick.
Seeing as he's the only one of real worth in the draft and he's another Bama player (though this one did not, unfortunately, play Judas to some Atlanta based team); Mr. Leigh Tiffin of Alabama is a clutch kicker. Matt Bryant, at least so far, isn't. With Tiffin one of only a handful of respectable NFL caliber kickers, expect him to be in high demand when the late rounds come 'round. Let's take him here to prevent any other dastardly opponent from taking him.
Pick #189 by Jason:
Am I out of my mind, or has noted Alabama fan Adam now drafted three Crimson Tiders (Tidesman? Tidies?) and one Texas Longhorn? Is he aware of any football games that happened last year besides the BCS title game? Will his bias ever cease? If that's how we're playing it, maybe I'll go back in time and draft Calvin Johnson. Clearly Adam has caught Nick Saban disease and will dump us soon to write for a competing blog.
To curb this menace, I'm selecting defensive end Antonio Coleman of Auburn, a two-time All-SEC first-teamer. I'm also trading Matt Ryan for Auburn Tigers Jason Campbell and Carlos Rogers, as well as sending next year's 1st round pick plus John Parker Wilson to the Miami Dolphins for Tigers Ronnie Brown and Reggie Torbor. What now? War Damn Falcon!
Last words by Adam:
Let the Alabama-Atlanta invasion BEGIN! Muwahahahahahah! So essentially, we've turned the Falcons' 2010 training camp into one large Iron Bowl. Lovely.
And it's Tidesmen. Yes, unPC and very chauvinistic. That's how we do things 'round heyah.
Rundown:
- DE Jerry Hughes, TCU
- WR Jordan Shipley, Texas
- C Matt Tennant, Boston College
- CB Javier Arenas, Alabama
- DE C.J. Wilson, East Carolina
- TE Colin Peek, Alabama
- S Myron Rolle, FSU/Freaking Oxford
- K Leigh Tiffin, Alabama
- DE Antonio Coleman, Auburn