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A Falcoholic Primer

Welcome to the site, ladies and gentlemen. With new readers joining our community on a daily basis, it seemed like the right time to post a list of terms and guidelines to abide by here at The Falcoholic. If you have any questions about anything on this list, please feel free to e-mail me directly at davethefalconer@yahoo.com. You'll be glad you did.

Community Guidelines

We're a very tolerant bunch around here, so keep that in mind. We all understand humor, but racism, sexism, and other horrible isms won't be tolerated. As site administrator and Lord of All I Survey, I reserve the right to delete any comments I deem to be offensive. I will give people another chance, likely by e-mailing you directly, but I swing a mighty ban hammer when provoked.

  • Don't be a jerk. I feel I may need to clarify what this means, so here goes. This means not insulting your fellow posters or the authors of this blog unnecesssarily, and treating everyone you come across with respect. This means feel free to joke around or make an impassioned point, but don't automatically dismiss other viewpoints or get nasty. You'll know when you've crossed the line, because I'm going to start handing out warnings. Using slurs, being racist, and comments in that vein will be grounds for a ban.
  • Don't like the Saints, Bucs or Panthers. You can like them and comment here, but please avoid rubbing it in overmuch. I encourage my regular readers to stop by other blogs to talk about the game and congratulate the teams after, so I expect people coming here to be equally polite. Just be a good sport.
  • Don't troll on other team's blogs. You will be warned, and if you're a repeat offender, banned by either myself or the opposing team's blogger.
  • Don't use caps lock all the time. IF YOU NEED TO DO THIS TO MAKE A POINT, FORGET IT. Do your best with spelling and grammar, but don't sweat the small stuff.
  • Keep the cussin' to a dull roar. My general rule is that everybody gets one swear during the game threads when necessary. Otherwise, please use creative terms to get your point across.
  • Don't pimp your blog. I'm more than happy to link to Falcons blogs, but be patient with me because I'm notoriously slow. If your contribution to a conversation is "Hey! Look what I wrote!", your comment is not long for this world.
  • Do comment often. One of the things that makes this site great is the level of discourse. I'd urge everybody to get involved, make your viewpoint known and have fun here. We're a friendly bunch.

Nicknames

We are very friendly toward clever or just plain oddball nicknames around here, and some have definitely stuck. Here's a short list to help you wade into the conversation. You'll note that some are nicknames which may be familiar to many, but i mention them for those who aren't: :

GM Thomas Dimitroff = Comrade Dimitroff or Comrade

Coach Mike Smith= Smitty

OC Mike Mularkey= MM, That Guy Who Doesn't Know What He's Doing

DC Brian Van Gorder= BVG

QB Matt Ryan= Matty Ice or Matty Snowballs

QB Chris Redman= Rojohombre

QB John Parker Wilson= JPW

RB Michael Turner=The Burner/Touchdown Vampire/Treebeard

RB Jacquizz Rodgers= Quizz

WR Roddy White= Rowdy Roddy White, Shakespeare

WR Julio Jones= JJ, JJ Birdman

WR Harry Douglas= HD or HD Digital

WR Eric Weems= Special Weems

TE Justin Peelle= Peeller

TE Tony Gonzalez= Gonzo or TG

TE Michael Palmer= Palms of Fury

OT Sam Baker= T-Rex

DE John Abraham= The Predator

DE Kroy Biermann= Duff Man, Beer Man, Kroylumbus

DE Lawrence Sidbury= El Sid

DT Jon Babineaux= USS Babineaux

LB Sean Weatherspoon= 'Spoon

LB Curtis Lofton= 5-0, The Police

LB Mike Peterson= Mo Pete

CB Brent Grimes= Air Grimes, Grimey, Grime Time

S William Moore= William "C4" Moore

Beat Writer D. Orlando Ledbetter= DOL

Recommending

Has one of your fellow readers made a particularly insightful or hilarious comment? Do you just like what we, the honorable staff of The Falcoholic, have done on a post? You can indicate your approval for that by recommending.

Basically, under the little list of actions under each comment and post is a Rec button, which will recommend the post. Three recommends earn it a green shade if it's a comment (fancy!), or will move FanPosts and FanShots up the list to the recommended section. It's a great way to recognize the peerless work of...well, your peers. Ask the team if you have any questions.

On the other side of that, you can flag comments if someone's doing something inappropriate. Those flags automatically notify me (Dave Choate) when something's going on, so I can react with appropriate wrath.

Inside Jokes

Because we try to limit our use of profanity on the site, I've encouraged readers to invent their own swears. If you see someone throwing around a glizflammin', you now know why. Feel free to come up with your own, as well.

On gamedays, many in the Open Threads will throw around the name of the Hindu god Vishnu. This started more or less at random, but he's become our go to deity when the going gets rough. Expect to see him at least once a game thread.

We like to exaggerate here. You'll note I often refer to John Abraham as a "terrifying monster" or something to that effect. Hyperbole for humor is a great cause.

The latest term to make it into the Falcoholic lexicon is "stupid dumb." This is when something is not just stupid or dumb, but both. Use it accordingly.

We'll continue to add to this primer as needed. Again, please let me know if you have any questions, and enjoy your time at The Falcoholic!