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A Look Ahead: Get Your Falcohol

Preface:

Drinkup_medium

Now that I've set the tone...

Saints_medium 

New Orleans Saints 2: The Season Definer
Where: Georgia Dome
When: Sunday December 13th, 2009 @ 1:00pm
Network: FOX
Why: Divisional Game

Importance: Serious Business. 

Notes: See what 'Bama did to ol' Timmy Tebow last Saturday? Yeah, that's gonna be Brees this weekend. GET READY TO CRY, DREW.

The Falcons win if: ... there ain't no if's anymore. Falcons have been to the bottom of the barrel and they're going to be blasting their way out.

The Saints win if: ... no ifs here, either. Saints have about as much chance to win as I've got to win Miss America.

Final Score: Eleventybillion to two. Yeah, John Parker gives them a mercy safety by sitting down in the endzone willfully at the end of the game. Just to let them leave with an teensy bit of pride.

Jets_medium 

New York Jets 
WhereGiants Stadium
When: Sunday December 20th, 2009 @ 1:00pm
Network: FOX
Why: Because New Yorkers couldn’t get enough of us the first go round against the Giants.

Importance: Serious Business

Notes: Sanchez, manchez. Matty Ice turns the field into an ice rink and plays hockey the only way he knows how: forechecking the defense.

The Falcons win if: ... What did I say about "if" 's? There ain't none. It's all gravy, baby.

The Jets win if: ... Peyton Manning, in a maniacal fit of fail, dresses up like Sanchez for his latest Direct TV commercial.

Score prediction: 255 to 17. The stadium is so old it only counts up to the max hexadecimal numerical value, ala old school Madden. Falcons' TDs stop scoring points midway through second quarter.

Bills_medium

Buffalo Bills
Where: Georgia Dome
When: Sunday December 27th, 2009 @ 1:00pm
Network: CBS
Why: The Bills aren't looking too good. Uh oh...

Importance: Serious Business

Notes: If you think for one minute that the Falcons' forgot your Christmas present, think again. It's just a little late comin'.

Prediction: Falcons win.

Bucs_medium

Tampa Bay Buccaneers With a Vengeance
Where: Raymond James Stadium
When: Sunday January 3rd, 2009 @ 1:00pm
Network: FOX
Why: Divisional Game

Importance: Serious Business

Notes: Tampa rolls over on this one, desperately wanting to have been only the second team to ever go 1-15

Prediction: Falcons win

Current season record: PUSH

Current season prediction: WIN

tlozwarlock's Current Prediction record: WIN

...

I drank up. What's your excuse?