In a gigantic, nonsensical middle finger extended toward Georgia, the the goddamn Bucs have signed Warrick Dunn.
"Even though we already have Michael Pittman, Earnest Graham, Michael Bennett and Cadillac Williams, we decided to add one more piece that would infuriate fans of our division rivals," said some mealy-mouthed son of a bitch who does, I dunno, public relations or something for those asshats over in Tampa Bay. "We're disappointed that we could not also sign Alge Crumpler, thus punching the Falcons in the testicles for no good reason."
An imaginary Coach Jon Gruden expressed mixed feelings about the signing.
"Typically, I only like to stock endless supplies of quarterbacks, like a chef throwing pasta at the wall. However, because I have coasted on my reputation as a coach ever since taking over from team architect Tony Dungy years ago, I can approve of the signing of a player whose legendary status here outweighs his declining skills. Of course, I'm not sure I ever had any skills to begin with," Gruden said.
Despite the fact that he was cut by the Falcons, Dunn remains a fan favorite and all-around good guy that Dave the Falconer desperately hoped would end up outside of the division.
When reached for comment, Dave expressed a desire to see Dunn rush for well over 1,000 yards while the Bucs go 4-12, with their only wins coming over the Panthers and Saints. He then swore repeatedly.