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Vick Sued By Less Than Stable Human Being

Yes, Vick was on the radio today. He's so embattled at this point that he had nothing to lose, and to his credit he did sound contrite. As we know, though, contrite doesn't do you much good when you're under this much legal pressure. There's also nothing new to report; Tony Taylor is clearly throwing his co-defendents under a bus, but it remains to be seen how much damage his testimony will do. So let's turn to something more fun.

As my SB Nation batterymate Skin Patrol noted in a diary today (check out the diary section), someone has filed one of the hilarious lawsuits ever against Vick. You can find the letter summing up the allegations here at Above the Law. This is absolutely hilarious stuff from a guy who's probably not-so-hilariously unbalanced. When you put a letter like this out in the world, however, you're asking to be scrutinized.

For instance, "microwave testing." Does this mean Michael Vick had Johnnie Lee Riches come to Sears and test microwaves with him? Did Vick actually place him in a microwave oven like popcorn? Or the drugs in school zones bit. Is he trying to tell us that Vick was smoking up outside an elementary school, or is he so crazy that he considers an airport a school zone? If these things are true, of course, there's no doubt Riches deserves the $63 billion in damages he's requesting.

This also highlights one of the basic dangers of celebrity, which is that every crazy in the country gets to read about you and watch you every day. If someone with a bad case of dementia or schizophrenia can link with some of their delusions, the end result can end up as a letter like this. There's no question that it's a sad and frightening thing, but there's also no debating that Riches has given the world one of the single most absurd lawsuits ever.

I'm looking forward to the book deal, myself.