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Falcons Not Canning Tuna

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It wasn't three hours ago that I saw a little blurb about ESPN's Chris Mortensen reporting that a deal with Parcells was imminent. I'll walk you through my thought process:

"Sweet, Parcells. The Big Tuna. I could use a tuna sandwich now. Mmm....tuna sandwich. Back on track, brain! Wait, this is Chris Mortensen. No! Crap! He's not going to sign! Unreport, you inaccurate buffoon! UNREPORT!"

Sure enough, the perpetually criticized Mortensen's scoop fell through. In that same upper right hand box, ESPN is now reporting that Parcells will not be signing a deal. It'll be a little bit until we figure out what's actually going on here, but let's keep each other posted. In the meantime, remember a valuable lesson about the big scoop: there's no use being first if you're also completely wrong.

With profuse apologizing to The Phinsider, whose author I respect very much, I'm going to totally bash the team he loves. I realize the Falcons have had a lot of problems this year, but Bill Parcells was courted by Rankin Smith and Co. in the past. He knows what the Falcons would offer him. Are we really such a horrible, awful, grief-inducing franchise that we're being beaten out for his services by the even more terrible Dolphins?

I might actually cry.