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Mora's Press Conference

Allow me to humorously (or not) paraphrase key parts of Mora's press conference, the actual transcript of which is available here:

Q: Where the hell did PJ Alexander come from?
A: He might be from Denver, I dunno. It's not my responsibility to know where my players are coming from. For all I know, he played point guard for the Nuggets. What matters is that, for one week at least, he didn't suck.

Q: So was it your crack team of scrubby linemen or your brilliant scheming that led to this?
A: A little bit of Column A, a little bit of Column B. As we all know, Alex Gibbs is the god of offensive lines, capable of creating good linemen where none tread before. Also, Tyson Clabo is actually just Matt Lehr in a clever disguise, so we had that going for us.

Q: So uh, can your offense continue to give off this heavenly light?
A: Well, you have to realize that everything's gone perfectly for the offense this week. But I truly believe that Vick has always been this good, we just had to release his potential. A couple weeks ago, I suddenly realized that I had never sat down with Mike, looked him in the eye, and said "throw the damn ball". That seemed to help.

Q: Ready to thump the Lions?
A: Well, you have to be careful about a word like 'thump'. The Lions could certainly give us a real challenge this week if half our team gets lost in the Alps. Otherwise, yes, thump is the right word.

Q: How 'bout them kids?
A: Well, our young players are great. Michael Boley is bringing the thunder and the lightning this year, and I apparently can't think of any other young players who deserve praise, so let's just call them all good. The key with young players is to sprinkle them in with veterans, like paprika in tuna salad. Speaking of which, it's lunch time. I'm going to go see what Oven Mitts is cooking.

Jim Mora, ladies and gentlemen.