I'm sure many of you have noticed my inconspicuous absence and for that I apologize. I'm going through the ardent process of becoming a homeowner. Tack on something else I plan to announce later and you've got one busy Adam. I haven't even gotten a chance to sit down and really watch a Falcons game for three weeks. Finally, Sunday, I got the chance.

I felt like I got trolled hard. The level of ineptitude on display shocked me beyond speechlessness. I simply could not fathom how a team with that much "weaponry" on offense could so utterly and completely fail at scoring. What were we, something like 3 of 15 for 3rd down conversions? Pitiful. I remember hearing at one point that Ryan was 15 for 37. Maybe that's exageration. I'm not sure. It was all hazy through a veil of rage. I stuck it out long enough to watch our biggest and riskiest draft pick in years let a tie-the-game ball bounce off his crotch. It's been that kind of season. Crotch-deflected passes kinda sums it all up. I'm saying this about a 7-5 record team that is somehow mercifully still in the playoff hunt. Unfathomable.

The tweets beyond the jump are as voracious as I've seen. One part elation, three parts confusion, and fifty billion parts frustration, these tweets may or may not be for the faint of heart. You've been warned.

Stiff upper lip and all of that.

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Since I've been sorely lacking in getting any content up the past few days, today you get a two-fer. Two Tweets of the Game. One day. Enjoy.

Well, what was supposed to be Detroit's bounce back from a terrible loss turned into a rather sloppy but still very delicious Falcons win. Can't ask for more than that. Our fearless leader (Dave) was out of commission this past game but everyone stepped up their game to provide some epic content.

GET U HEAD IN THE DAMN GAME, ANTONE SMITH!!! Poppa_falcon

Better QB SNEAK THAT MESS!!! NO NEED TO BE CUTE MULARKEY!!! Poppa_falcon

Tony Gonzalez is the only receiver on the Falcons that has caught a pass. FalconsDCox

Whoa.....nice fumble recovery! Jake_W

This dude behind me yells cheaters every time we get a penalty. I'm sick of hearing this crap. FalconsDiva28

Eat it!! Just eat that touchdown pill!!! Eat it! FalconsTirso

Optimus Grimes up one on MegaTron so far. FalconsJAdams

Suh isn't in the game right now. Trying to find out why. Hearing a possible ejection? FalconsJAdams

Optimus Grimes got up higher than megatron MidwestATLFALC

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Since I've been sorely lacking in getting any content up the past few days, today you get a two-fer. Two Tweets of the Game. One day. Enjoy.

The Panther game was special. Not "OMG we totally kicked butt" special but "yup, that's a NFC South game for ya" special. We didn't exactly dominate but we didn't exactly suck either. Tweets ahoy.

I was hoping for a little more...you know, six points. TheFalcoholic

Good to see we've got a third team in black and white stripes playing today. TheFalcoholic

Story of the year so far there. Moore and Babineaux have Newton in a bad place and it ends with a first down.  FalconsJAdams

Ray Edwards is giving a Panthers o-lineman a piggy back ride, but that isn't holding on CAR? Oh, okay. Jeannathomas

Looks like 1st quarter will be one of the quarters we decide not to play today. FalconsNeedRing

Michael Turner running with purpose. That purpose? The annihilation of all that is good and alive in the world. TheFalcoholic

LOOK at Ovie!!! Poppa_Falcon

This drive has as many penalties as plays. This is sloppier than my college dorm room. TheFalcoholic

Dear Mike Mularkey: The run appears to be working today, so it's okay to do it.  Jake_W

This zone is as soft as angel down and kitten fur. TheFalcoholic

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Like how the Falcons are establishing the run early. Getting back to Falcons football! Falcfans

OLD GUY TOUCHDOWN JasonKirkSBN

#2 to #88! Great start Falcons! Keleland

Best thing about that drive? Everything. TheFalcoholic

Seattle does the illegal shift! That's what they call the 9 a.m. in El Paso, Texas. TheFalcoholic

Need better push up the middle there. They still got Jackson down but I'd like to be able to see him not step up in the pocket. FalconsDCox

That sound you hear is tens of thousands of Seahawks fans dialing 911 on Julio Jones for cornerback abuse. TheFalcoholic

Got to get Julio a TD today.  FalconsDCox

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Matty has NO time. O-line gotta do better. Gotta. FalconsNeedRing

We're about 2.5 minutes into the game and two turnovers already. Could be one of those games. FalconsJAdams

Well at least Bosher can tackle. FalconsNeedRing

The Falcons need to move their offensive dial from "slow" to "not slow." TheFalcoholic

That drive went in the trash compactor quick. TheFalcoholic

The Falcons special teams are not, really... technomonk13

Matt Bosher punts like a small child. TheFalcoholic

I hope I have enough beer in this house to get me through the game. Jeannathomas

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Samuel J. Jackson himself gets the crowd started tonight. FalconsJHicks

Spoon is making his presence know early! Kinglouie9

Michael Turner is running like a magnificent gazelle tonight. TheFalcoholic

JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULIO! FalconsDCox

ROLL TIDE JasonKirkSBN

Did you ever Juli-know that you're my hero? TheFalcoholic

So how cool was that diver with the 83 jersey and Falcon helmet on while underwater? That was awesome. FalcoholicZippo

The Falcons' offensive line goes all gooey and Matt Ryan gets hit with a helmet. No call. Naturally. TheFalcoholic

How was that not a penalty... Went right for the helmet! hotbunsugafoot

Sean Weatherspoon is on Brent Celek like cheese on a burger. TheFalcoholic

All i gotta say is THANK YOU BEARS for beating us like that, youve sparked something else ConManJankins

Tony Gonzalez has moves on top of moves on top of moves in between a delicious bun of pass catching. TheFalcoholic

My favorite move in the whole NFL is Tony Gonzalez' stepback after a catch. Sneaky old man basketball player feet. JasonKirkSBN

The Falcons are going to Michael Turner the Eagles to death. TravisFain

Mike Vick wears Matt Ryan underwear. DrewWill

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Depressing missives behind the jump, though some kept it entertaining to the end. Enjoy.

Frank Caliendo consistently brings so much pain to the world he should be tried for war crimes. @mFalcons5

Matty Ice > your QB @bangxprettyWill

Matt Forte is going to get tired of Sean Weatherspoon quickly. @ReidAdair

Sean Weatherspoon is playing out of his mind today. He looks like a one-man barbarian horde. @TheFalcoholic

Apparently Sean Weatherspoon didn't have lunch, and will settle on having Matt Forte @KMarch_

Turner, Ryan to White, Turner. Ah, feels like 2010. @TheFalcoholic

If Matt Forte touches the ball, rest assured Sean Weatherspoon isn't too far away. @ReidAdair

Uh oh...Cutler's getting a little frustrated. @FalconsDCox

It just wouldn't be a Bears game if Jay Cutler didn't get whiny. @jeannathomas

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As many of you seasoned Falcoholic veterans know, last year I started an in-season feature called "Tweets of the Game." This feature collects the best in-game quotes from social media, fans, and pundits alike. It's making its return this year and if you want to participate, all you have to do is A) Have a twitter account B) Follow @AdamLSchultz and C) Let me know that I need to follow you and add you to the Tweets of the Game list.

Simple, no? First Tweets of the Game post should hit Wednesday of next week.