A Guide To Being The Best Member Of The Falcoholic (Ever)

Mike Zarrilli

Everybody wants to be a winner, right?

So you want to be a member of The Falcoholic. Or maybe you already are. Maybe you want to be the beacon upon the hill to every other Falcoholic member, a shining example that others mention wistfully years later, as they drink their digital beers in the blog mines.

Any way you slice it, you can be awesome. Many of you already are. With the season just around the corner, I thought I'd write up a brief primer for being ridiculous good at everything, a guide I am probably not actually qualified to pen.

Just remember that it's as easy as A-Z. What do I mean by that, exactly?

A is for Access

If you're not already signed up, now's a good time to do so. We have a 24 hour waiting period on this blog to stop spammers and their spammy spam, so if you sign up on Sunday, you won't be able to participate in game action. That will lead to us having this dialogue:

You: Y no Falcoholic?

Me: I must protect this land from spammers. Spam is bad.

You: :(

If you are signed up, take a tour of the site. You can put up FanPosts if you have a topic you want to discuss that's longer than a comment, or an idea you want to bounce off your fellow Falcoholics. You can use a FanShot to share an amusing link or photo. And you can comment like crazy on the many, many articles we have here on The Falcoholic. Don't let my carpal tunnel go to waste.

Z is for Z Key

Game threads are sort of like a swirling tornado of comments. It's not uncommon for us to have a couple thousand comments over a couple of gamethreads, and keeping up can be overwhelming.

The Z Key is your friend. Hit Z and it will mark the first comment in the thread as read. Keeping hitting it or just hold it down and watch as it marks all the comments. This will help you catch up to the conversation without needing to scroll, because scrolls are made of papyrus and are made for lame guys who have been dead 2,000 years. Lamers.

The Z key is your friend!

Okay, so you're signed up and you've got the Z. You're on the road to awesome. Now what?

Don't Do These Things

  • Swear outside of game threads. We're all (I think) adults here, and occasionally you need to vent at the way games are going. That's fine. Outside of those situations, though, keep the cursing to a bare minimum. Fargin' right.
  • Respect Falcons fans, and even fans of other teams. Every time you get in a ridiculous spat and I have to warn or ban you, an angel loses its wings gets sucked into a 747 engine. Don't ruin it for the angels.
  • Don't troll unless you don't want to be here very long. We have our mild-mannered official troll HollywoodSaint, sure. But if you're basically just here to make stupid arguments, get people riled up and make our lives more difficult, you are not long for this site.
  • DO NOT TYPE IN ALL CAPS ALL THE TIME IT DRIVES ME CRAZY.
  • Don't post links to illegal streams. Think of them as a river you cannot swim in.

So remember: Be a decent person, use the Z key and participate often. You're already on the road to greatness, friends.

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