I love to frequent sleazy bars, but imagine my surprise when I saw coach Mike Smith in a blackout drunken state in the men's room...
Fearing a media shitstorm, I helped Smitty to his feet. He appeared to gather himself. He even suggested we find some chicks. I thought that was a great idea. However, he was clearly too wasted to make the distinction between women and...err...other things
I decided enough was enough. I told Smitty he was going to sleep it off at my house and I'd drive him home the next day. Smitty went b-line for the couch and enjoyed a peaceful rest. Unbeknownst to me, my roommate was awake. Unfortunately for Smitty, my roommate has the maturity level of a 7th grader...
Smitty woke up the next day and asked why was he wearing a bra. Wanting to preserve any dignity our dear coach had left, I told him he had a wild night with a hot bartender. Smitty swore me to secrecy and thanked me by granting me behind the scenes access to all the Falcons' games. He also shared with me the 53 man roster he created a week ago....So directly from the mouth of coach Smith, here is the 53 man roster....and I swear this is a true story.
53 Man Roster (Star indicates the starters)
QB (2): Matt Ryan*; Dom Davis
FB (1): Bradie Ewing*
RB (4): Steven Jackson*; Quizz Rodgers; Jason Snelling; Ronnie Wingo Jr.
WR (5): Roddy White*; Julio Jones*; Harry Douglas; Drew Davis; Martel Moore
TE (3): Tony Gonzalez*; Chase Coffman; Levine Toilolo
OL (9): Sam Baker LT; Justin Blalock LG; Peter Konz C; Garrett Reynolds RG; Mike Johnson RT
(backups): Lamar Holmes; Harland Gunn; Ryan Schraeder; Joe Hawley
DT (5): Johnathan Babineaux*; Corey Peters*; Travian Robertson; Peria Jerry; Adam Replogle
DE (6): Osi Umenyiora*; Malliciah Goodman*; Kroy Biermann; Jonathan Massaquoi; Cliff Matthews; Stansly Maponga
LB (6): Sean Weatherspoon*; Stephen Nicholas*; Akeem Dent*; Brian Banks, Joplo Bartu; Pat Schiller
CB (5): Asante Samuel*; Desmond Trufant*; Robert McClain; Robert Alford; Peyton Thompson
S (4): William Moore*; Thomas DeCoud*; Kemal Ishmael; Charles Mitchell
K (1): Matt Bryant*
P (1): Matt Bosher*
LS (1): Josh Harris*
Practice Squad: Darius Johnson, Jacques McClendon, Zeke Motta, Sean Renfree, Rashad Evans; Marcus Jackson, Terren Jones; Micanor Regis
<em>This FanPost was written by one of The Falcoholic's talented readers. It does not necessarily reflect the views of The Falcoholic.</em>