2012 NFL Cheerleaders Draft
Undrafted Cheerleaders > Undrafted Players
Warning!!! Do not continue reading if you still have a mommy. My name is Kashberry, and that's enough of a warning.
The NFL draft brings a ton of excitement into your living rooms.
Similarly, the signing of undrafted players brings excitement into your living rooms.
But then you don’t stay excited. I pondered… why?
I know why!
Too many undrafted players end up being practice squaders, and we don’t care about practice.
Yet, it still made me think…. "Too much thinking", I thought, "better start putting important dates on my calendar."
So there I was, conducting online research, pouring over the Falcons schedule on their official site.
(Side note- Hey Mr. Choate, please update the schedule on the Falcoholic).
For some odd reason – I think nature and normality – I decided that the "Cheerleaders" link needed to be clicked.
After I did that, the philosorapter in me started thinking again.
Where do cheerleaders come from? Is there an NFL Cheerleader Draft- taking the most promising girls from college? No, there isn’t. Only in my dreams. And in those dreams, because they’re mine, I’m the commissioner. I’m hugging each and every one of those promising prospects. Even the undrafted cheerleaders. Undrafted cheerleaders get hugged by the commissioner too. Not just the big names, or big racks.
And when I say "hug" or "hugged" I mean "@%@%" and "@%@%ed". Because it’s my dream. Anything I want. No such thing as being too exhausted and too drained for the 14th hug of the day.
Because in real life, I pathetically get drained after the 13th hug of the day.
Now I’m starting to day-dream. Back on topic here.
Well, how about those undrafted cheerleaders? We do care about them- they’re starters, after all. We see them in action. And they care about us too- more than the players do. Cheerleaders show us much needed skin; players only score touchdowns.
Undrafted cheerleaders are so important we care about them even when they’re rooting for the other team. Sometimes we show more support than the support we show to our own undrafted cheerleaders.
Can’t go wrong supporting them either, unless they’re still dancing and looking happy at the end of the game against our team.
Aw… yes, I can support them all day. And I will, in the privacy of my own home, as soon as I finish this post.
Last week, Falcons’ cheerleader try-outs began for all those poor undrafted girls.
The preliminary try-outs were April 29th. There were two rounds of cuts.
The girls who were not cut went into the 15 minute interview stage, which was May 1st. There’s a lot I could find out about a girl in 15 minutes, why wasn’t I invited to interview them last night- alone- with a POV camera? Jeez… I just want to contribute.
"Tell me… how bad you want to be an Atlanta Falcons cheerleader?"
Undrafted babe- "Really bad"
Day dreaming! Wake up!
The final cut is made tonight at 6:30pm. Final auditions are held May 3.
Cheerleaders are only paid $75.00 per home game? Whaaaaaaat?!?! That must be like a 6 hour commitment. That’s $12.50 an hour. What are these girls thinking? I can top that- $100 for three hours. That’s $33.33 per hour. Even a brainless bimbo can appreciate that. Plus, I do all the work anyways, except for 5 minutes when I get out of breath, and I need a cowgirl for a little while.
If you want a glimpse of these undrafted cheeleaders, there’s tons of pictures on the Falcons’ site, but there’s nothing fun there. We’re going to have fun here.
I’m bringing us all the first NFL Cheerleaders Draft. Right now, we’re all commissioners. And we’re judges.
Let’s decide who our cheerleaders are – there’s room for a 40 girl roster, but we’ll just pick one special cheerleader to honor and support throughout the 2012 season.
2012 NFL Cheerleaders Draft – Vote for your favorite below. Be sure not to only stare at the pictures until Mommy catches you, but to also read why she should represent our team, why she should not represent our team, and her name. It's fun not knowing their name, isn't it?
(In no particular order)
Why she should represent the Falcons: She has nice t))) and she's about to slap her own a@@, what more can you ask for?
Why she shouldn't represent the Falcons: Medusa hair. Nitpicking? I have to find some sort of flaw in these babes.
Why she should represent the Falcons: Boobs.
Why she shouldn't represent the Falcons: Everything else.
Why she should represent the Falcons: Cute black chick.
Why she shouldn't represent the Falcons: I'm not black, and she might only date blacks. Which would mean, I could not have cute black chick. Which is grounds for lack of Falcons representation.
Name: Laker Girl
Why she should represent the Falcons: She likes it rough.
Why she shouldn't represent the Falcons: Most Falcoholics hate the Lakers, and she's wearing Lakers' colors. Oh, and as of right now, Lakers up 2-0 on Nuggets, in case you were dying to know. GO LAKERS.. signed, a real Lakers fan.
Name: Wizard of Aztecs
Why she should represent the Falcons: The past, present, and future are all BEHIND HER. Use your imagination slash experience.
Why she shouldn't represent the Falcons: Umm...... if she shouldn't represent the falcons, then you shouldn't be on this post.
Why she should represent the Falcons: Oh, yes, just like that!
Why she shouldn't represent the Falcons: ....
Why she should represent the Falcons: Sideshow Bob hair is attractive and well established for a cheerleader hopeful
Why she shouldn't represent the Falcons: Sideshow Bob hair. Oh dear.
Why she should represent the Falcons: My pretty little asian girl! Well, we need to be diverse here so we don't upset the asian LOVING community. And plus, Mea Ling here can get us some good discounts on jerseys. She swears they're legal.
Why she shouldn't represent the Falcons:
Why she should represent the Falcons: Duh- she looks like a freak.
Why she shouldn't represent the Falcons: Number 9, number 9, number 9, number 9... only that crazy Beatles song has me second guessing number 9, number 9, number 9. But never number 69.
Why she should represent the Falcons: We can't see her face, but she can position herself in that way.
Why she shouldn't represent the Falcons: We might see her face.
So there you have it... Cast your vote below.
Thanks for watching.
"Watching? I didn't watch anything."
Which of the cheerleader wannabes above should be given a chance to represent the 2012 Falcons?
1 - Seduca (3 votes)
2 - Oob (1 vote)
3 - CBC (1 vote)
4 - Laker Girl (7 votes)
5 - Wizard of Aztecs (18 votes)
6 - YES (8 votes)
7 - Homer (5 votes)
8 - P.L.A.G. (9 votes)
9 - Tornado (1 vote)
10 - OMG (1 vote)
54 total votes