Breast Cancer Awareness Month 2012 - Week 1
Time to get serious.
This is a fanpost. This was not the work of the masterminds who run The Falcoholic. No, they are better than this.
They, well - at least Dave - Yea, Dave! Dave is waiting for you to pry his keyboard from his cold, dead hands. And none of you will try. Because, if you do, Mother Fucking Alcon will come back together and murder your ass while you're taking a shit. And while your mom's watching.
WARNING - Do not continue to read this if you are under 18 years old or if you are just a complete lame. That's my job.
IT'S A CELEBRATION!!!
A celebration of life...
Life begins when you are born. No, this is not about to get that deep. I won't try to make you cry. I know I can't succeed.
The way I'll do this is to go beyond The Falcoholic. I'll make players and cheerleaders wear mismatching pink during all NFL games being played within the month of October. Pink socks, pink wrist bands, pink pom poms, underneath skirts- pink pussy. But they don't show that. And I don't want to see women degrading themselves either.
Show your true love for breasts. The NFL is failing breasts everywhere by making players wear pink instead of just doing the right thing and giving the Breast Cancer Awareness Foundation 0.00009% of their annually income'd $9,000,000,000. That would be $810,000 for the Breast Cancer Awareness Foundation. But no no no- the NFL wants you to believe they're actually doing the right thing already - THEY'RE NOT - It's all marketing. They're investing a few bucks in order to pull more women fans into the NFL universe. They need to grow that $9 billion. $9 billion not enough.
I'm just doing what I can with the annual income I earn. Not a whole lot, I know. But just you wait! I'll win the fucking lottery, and I'm flying everyone to a mother fucking Falcons victory. And we'll have some cheerleaders. And I won't have to email them and appear to be a mad creeper.
In the meantime, I will peer pressure you to donate by clicking here.
Keeping it classy- Yup, that's me.
I love breasts, and I wish to protect them forever.
On behalf of breasts on women everywhere, I say..