Los Angeles Lakers Analogy


Shortly after the Week 6 Raider game began, I texted this to my friends who tolerate me-

"Playin down to their level... plus raiders plain hard. This is like watching the lakers which is good news because it means we are great."

I know you all hate the Lakers. But don't hate me, read on. Allow me to explain.

When teams show up in LA, or LA shows up on another team's floor- doesn't matter who is more talented or what the records are. Doesn't matter if it's a rivalry or not. Good teams. Bad teams. Teams that suck so much they don't belong in the NBA. When the Lakers are on the other side of the court, it's gametime. Championship time for the other team- not for the Lakers. Every team plays their hearts out against the Lakers.

Hate them or love them, Lakers are best in the NBA. Behind the Celtics in total championships by one, but most in wins, playoff appearances, championship appearances.

Most loved. Most hated.

The Atlanta Falcons are in a similiar light this year, minus the love and championship rings. The light that shines on the Falcons is dark and full of hatred. It's the light shining out of the media's asshole. Fuck the media. Don't let them bother you.

What should bother you is the fact that, at 6-0 and undisputed King of NFL Power Rankings for the first time in their history, Falcon opponents are going to play their hearts out.

What happened on Sunday was a combination of things- Raiders had their bye week for extra preparation time, Raiders came in hungry- with nothing to lose, and Falcons came in sleep walking. Matt Ryan, especially.


I have another analogy you'll love- yes, another Lakers/Falcons analogy.

In high school, Kobe Bryant was thought to have purposely slacked off during the first three quarters of a game so that he could make it exciting for himself and win it in the 4th quarter.

I'm not saying Matt Ryan does that on purpose or anything at all, but I'm simply amusing myself (and probably precisely two of you) at the mere thought of a quarterback who accidently wakes up when he absolutely has to. Matt Ryan is clutch, I'll take him over any quarterback in the 4th quarter. Well, that last minute, for sure. Eli Manning is another quarterback who comes to mind- another quarterback who, on a consistent basis, doesn't turn it on until the 4th quarter. Well, fuck Eli Manning, and fuck the Giants too. We'll see them in December. More on them later.

Consistently, where's Matt Ryan during the first three quarters? I don't know. I see him on the field, but when he's making bad decisions that he can't get paid to make in the last minute of a close game, I just don't really see him at all.

Lots of factors on both sides of the ball, sure... but still... I've seen Kobe wait until the end to turn it on, and I hate that. He did that in Game 7 of the NBA finals against the Celtics in 2010. I drank too much that night.

What I am ultimately saying is, I want to see more last minute in the 4th quarter Matt Ryan and less "I have time to win the game it's only the 2nd quarter Matt Ryan".

I want to see that killer instinct. I want to see him come out of the gates pissed off, cursing on the sideline.

Dave couldn't say it, but we saw it- Matt Ryan, after yet another interception-


Yea Matt, yea.. Fuck, indeed. I, along with precisely more than two other people, said it aloud with you. Fuck, indeed.

Hey Matt- Come out angry, as if the opposing team just slapped your mom across her face while staring at you in the eyes. Slap them back with a four td, zero interception, 100+ passer rating performance.

I want to see more "Get the FUCK off my field" and less head shaking while pondering the last incomplete pass.

Put that baby to bed early. Don't wait until the 4th quarter to discipline that child. Some of us won't have hearts healthy enough to handle that punishment the rest of our lives. I'm looking at you in the mirror.


Don't take any teams for granted. You may just suffer from Kashberilitis- it's a rare disease that has only happened three times in the history of one Falcoholic reader. A celebration for some, who love to see that this specific reader is human, and a shameful curse for the reader itself who had to be babysat.

I didn't remember watching the fourth quarter because I was already blacked out. After celebrating the game winning field goal (being told about how I celebrated the game winning field goal), I gave out big, three minute long bear hugs (I never hug people), made out with a girl in front of the party, then bounced off the hallway walls on the way to vomitting all over the bathroom and sleeping on the side of the shower for three hours. Later on, I woke up at 1am PST in different clothes, confused as hell, unsure of who even won the game. And only sure I wasn't in prison because the futon I was sleeping on was comfortable as fuck.

My neck hurt like a mother fucker yesterday.

Don't take any teams for granted this year. Good teams. Bad teams. Teams that don't even belong in the NFL. They're going to show up. They're going to play their hearts out. Falcons need to bring their A-game and not their lame-game.

Media is going to hate. Non-Falcon fans are going to hate. Shit, Falcons fans are going to hate too.

Fuck all of them.

We are the only undefeated team in the NFL.

I repeat-


It mean's we're great.

(side note... I LOVE LA!!!)

Randy Newman sings I Love L.A. at 2002 Lakers ring ceremony


<em>This FanPost was written by one of The Falcoholic's talented readers. It does not necessarily reflect the views of The Falcoholic.</em>

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