Conspiracy Theorist 2: Top Brass Among Us

In this series of posts, something about Falcons and curses and peeping eyes and Cubs fans enduring fewer years without a title than us. Also something about being delusional and ridiculous and without logic. Logic. Who needs that? Oh, and a conspiracy theory about Falcons top brass secretly taking our ideas to heart.

First, credit for this post goes to Ball Hawk. He and I had a little back and forth in another thread about how it sure seems that someone, somewhere in the Falcons organization has been reading things from this site and has been taking notes.

I gotta say, doesn't that just sound awesome? I have a great idea. Follow me after the jump and let's have some fun.

Many fans on this board want their voices heard, and rightfully so. We've done some great things in this regime (Matty, Turner, winning) and some fail things (playcalling, playcalling, prevent defense) and gosh darn it, we want people inside the Falcons organization to know!

So forgive me for tooting my own horn when I mention that I accurately predicted the hiring of Bob Bratkowski as QB coach two weeks ago, and I bet my reasoning was the exact reason they did it. Want to know why?

We're being watched.

Falcons top brass are reading our posts and comments and they're paying attention. Maybe we actually influence their decisions. Heck, maybe we're actually their pocket GMs!

In fact, I'm so sure of this theory, I'm going to give them some more ideas.

Idea #1:

A new CBA could cause a lot of problems, and I think that some of the players' contracts need to be restructured. Take every player's contract, restructure it in such a way that they're paid the same amount of money for the same amount of time, except add "Oh, but your salary for this year is $1." in microscopic print on the bottom. Don't explain anything, just tell them to sign next to the X. That way, we can go out and get any free agent we want! And lots of them, too!

That way, we can pick up as many fails as we want and still not make it halfway to the new salary cap. I think that idea could be golden.

Idea #2:

I think an open air stadium would do wonders for the fanbase. I think that, in the colder months, the truly rabid fans would come out to participate in the yelling. The problem is, a new stadium could cost millions. Here's an idea. Take a crane and maybe a handful of people with machetes and have them cut the roof off of the Dome. $15 an hour this summer. Give them whatever insurance they want until they're done. Problem solved, open air stadium achieved.

Idea #3:

Larry Fitzgerald is iffy about leaving the Cardinals? Well, that deserves a hearty "hyuck, hyuck" from Goofy himself. Here's an idea. Mr. Arthur Blank, go out and buy the Cardinals! Then you can just ship them all over here and we get Fitz AND Breaston as well as some potential defensive players that are worth a toot. Then Cardinals fans would have a happy team to cheer for. That way, everyone wins!

So let's hear it, Falcoholics. It's your turn to play pocket GM. If you believe some of the Falcons' top brass reads this blog, then this is your time to shine. Let's hear some ideas (legitimate or otherwise) to give to them!

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