Anti Awards, Week 10

UPDATE: You know what I forgot to write about on here (was tired, as always). Something I haven't seen spoken about, besides the game threads.

Quickly, what were they thinking going for that onside kick? I've seen some bad onside kicks this year (Patriots/Steelers comes to mind first) and that was one of them. That was three points given to the Saints...

I was pretty frustrated after that game. I sort of want to feel bad for posting such an anger driven rant like that, but I can't talk myself into it. I gave up after an extremely short while. On top of that, I don't think I can go into that bar again. The game was ugly, someone said something ugly, and someone threw a bar stool, stepped on an innocent 49ers fan's shoe, and then kicked the bar door open, and then sped off.

That little rant that was written helped to air out some frustration. Felt a lot better, until I got onto the discussion threads. Then I behaved in an ugly fashion, similar to that one guy in that one bar. I was corrected quickly by a thunderbolt wielding son of a gun (whom we'll read about next week). And upon correction, I took off... into my bedroom. And took a nap.

All is not over. All is definitely not over. Week 11, and all is well.


I am optimistic, and therefore I'm jumping on the "how the FalCANS" bandwagon and showing you how I believe the NFC South will play out.




**This is quite controversial, maybe. Or, it's just a quick fact. We're all over it.


NFC South will be good for 3rd or 4th place this year, and I don't mind that at all. Let's host a playoff game, and then hit the road. Well, much too early to be discussing this. So, I'll get onto a different topic.







Due to circumstances out of my control, I must include a special one time award this week.

The Falcons looked unstoppable for three drives. Two of those three put ten points on the scoreboard and sent the game into overtime. For the majority of the remaining drives, the Falcons looked like Mularkey.

4th and inches... great move that I completely supported.

Delayed handoff, run up the middle. Didn't see that stop coming.

Matt Ryan would have been better off faking the handoff and taking off. Regardless, I don't think it should have came to that. Cox surely had the first down. No question.

Here's to hoping Matt Ryan starts to ignore Murlarkey. Here's to hoping we don't have to see something as awful as this again:





Let Matt Ryan Go! Let Matt Ryan Go!

Matt Ryan played well...



...he definitely does not get this next award:



I could easily give this to Rex Grossman, but I can always easily give this to Rex Grossman. For this reason alone, I will instead choose a quarterback who leads a contending team that may take a hold of the AFC very soon. I'm speaking about a team that should be undefeated and leading the AFC right now.

A team that should be undefeated but has lost to a 5-4 Titans team, and two 3-6 teams you can find in the mud below.

I'm speaking about a contending team that just lost to the Seahawks - a team ranked #5 on the powerless rankings last week.

Baltimore Ravens is the team... and Joe Wacco Flacco is the quarterback I'm speaking of.

Yes, this makes me feel better as well... Matt Ryan doesn't lose to these weak sauce teams. Matt Ryan didn't lose to Joe Wacco Flacco.

Joe, go get on your over-sized raven and get the hell out of here.. I heard you wanted to go somewhere else, anyways.




Quit dreaming, Joe.






The second reason why I didn't choose the gross man for his own award is because I saved him for this award.

Rex Grossman, you lied to me. I was all hyped up to see you play when, in the off season, you said you were in your prime. I knew you would come around. I knew you would play your personal best. That's what being in your prime means, right?

Why, yes it does. Playing in your prime means that you're playing at the peak level of your career. This can only mean one thing.

Rex Grossman needs to retire.





Bosher, you didn't upset us. I haven't seen your name mentioned once. This is probably the first time many others have seen your name following that saints game. And that's beautiful, Bosher. As a punter, we shouldn't ever be talking about you. If we are, it needs to be due to some opponent running into you, resulting in an automatic first down, or we should be saying "nice kick". That's it, Bosher. I think I'll run this award through this year, should I continue to run it. And this award will be changed if forward progress is continued.


Now, all of that sweetness aside, I have an award winning kicker in mind. Pretty easy..

This kicker missed a 22 yard chip shot to put his team ahead with two minutes left. It's not really his fault, because the coaches told him to do that in spite of a Rams team trying to get LUCKy.

Phil Dawson, you blew the game on your home field. All for the sake of spitting on a Rams team's chances of getting the number one pick? And because, at three games behind the Colts, you still have a shot at the first pick?







Found this quote early in the week:


"It's frustrating to have your kicker injured. He's a valuable asset, especially with the rules as they are right now. We're going to be playing some key away games out in the weather and we'd like to have (Buehler) kicking in them because he is a better kickoff guy than Bailey. I'm very frustrated. It is his job to stay ready to play and prepare himself so that those kinds of things, for what he's got to do, don't come up."


Don't know who said that?


That's Jerry Jones, owner of the Dallas Cowboys.


He's speaking about his kicker, Buehler, who is obviously hurting. He should worry more about Tony....

Much like the gross man himself, Tony needs to retire...






1) 0-10 Colts

Last week: 1


Colts have a two game lead over the four two-win teams. Will the Colts somehow choke up the number one spot. While I was in Indianapolis, I overheard the general manager Bill Polian and owner Jim Irsay discussing possible bars to meet at during the bye week to discuss "the winless strategy". Losing on purpose is a fine art, but if this team can make the playoffs 11 years in a row, they can figure out how to lose while making it look like an accident. They don’t really need to, though, since at this point nobody cares if they get outscored 144-18 in their final 6 games.



2) 2-7 Rams 

Last week: 2


Like Dolphins, Like Rams. What were they thinking getting their 2nd win? Well, unlike the Dolphins, they actually were not trying to win, which is why they’re the number two most powerless team. Proof is the fact that they let the Browns get down the field for a 22 yard chip shot. After the kick, Rams players looked on in disbelief as the scoreboard remained the same after Browns kicker Bailey somehow missed that 22 yard chip shot.


3) 2-7 Dolphins 

Last week: 3


They managed to beat Anti Award inspiring Rex Grossman, and so I’m obviously not impressed. But what were they thinking? This team just screwed up again and got its 2nd win in a row. They’re now a two full games behind the Colts in the Powerless Rankings. They need the Colts to screw up and win 2 or 3 times, depending on tie breakers. Such a shame in Miami. I heard Dolphin fans are ripping up their white/orange Luck jerseys.


4) 2-7 Panthers 

Last week: On the mud shores


Panthers got destroyed by a Titans team that I believe we can destroy. This is the Panthers first appearance on these powerless rankings, and they’re more powerless than a team that beat them back in week 8, in Carolina. Most positive thing for this franchise- they have their QB. As Falcons fans, we have to hope this team stays as far away from the top pick as possible.


5) 2-7 Vikings 

Last week: On the mud shores


Vikings also just got destroyed, but was it a surprise to any sane people? I saw that coming. Why didn’t I place a bet on the spread? Oh well… In other news, people think Ponder is good. Maybe the Vikings won’t need a new QB? I don’t know, but a bigger question might be where this team is going to be playing in the future, since there’s some sort of stadium problem I refuse to research. All I know is that I would hate to see the Vikings move to Los Angeles.




Hanging out on the shores of the mud puddle, all at 3-6:


Redskins, Seahawks, Cardinals, Jaguars, Browns, Eagles






There is definitely a pattern here. Which award do the rankings precede? The most positive award, of course. And I've called on some mechanics, because our red car needs some work done.





The Positive “Left Vs. Right” Award: Broken Down


Your car broke down, and you either don’t know a thing about cars, or you completely forgot. Luckily, a good samaritan pulls over to help. Who fixes you up?

<em>This FanPost was written by one of The Falcoholic's talented readers. It does not necessarily reflect the views of The Falcoholic.</em>

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