The Scale of Falconliness, Cornerbacks Week: Ray Buchanan

Who's the ultimate Falcon? And who's the ultimate anti-Falcon? That's what we're going to find out with our summer project: the Scale of Falconliness. We'll rate former Falcons on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the most Falconly. The rule: minimum of three seasons with the Falcons for coaches, five seasons for players.

Ray Buchanan, Cornerback (1997 - 2003)

Falconly Unfalconly
  • Seven years in Atlanta, including the 1998 and 2002 playoff runs.
  • Many people apparently thought he was funny. He kept landing TV jobs after retiring as a player.
  • Tied for third on Falcons' career interceptions list.
  • 1998 Pro Bowl.
  • Released a gospel rap album in 2002.
  • Philanthropous. Not a word.
  • More recorded career tackles than any other tackles-recorded-era Falcons cornerback.
  • Some of you may be delighted to note he appears to dislike Tim Tebow, once referring to Tebow's beliefs as "radical," and not radical like awesome. Not sure how this relates to Buchanan's gospel rap career.
  • Once appeared on The Daily Show in 1999.
  • Played four years for the Colts and one for the Raiders.
  • He wasn't actually funny, unless you love forced puns like calling Eli Manning "E. Coli Manning." Is that even a pun? Is it too dumb to be a pun?
  • Publicly guaranteed Super Bowl XXXIII victory while making fun of Shannon Sharpe's face (SEE HOW FUNNY?). John Elway's 336 yards begged to differ.
  • What a terrible rapper. But not adorably terrible, like Deion Sanders. Just terrible.
  • Roots for the Los Angeles Lakers.
  • Most of his nicknames around here, besides his seemingly self-styled "Big Play Ray," tended to involve words like Toast.
  • Has been arrested.
  • Aired out Michael Vick's dogfighting -- not to the police, but for media attention. In hindsight this wasn't that big of a deal, since Vick was exceedingly guilty, but it's hard to feel great about a teammate trashing another to the media.
  • Opened his mansion for rapper Nelly to film the infamous "Tip Drill" music video. If you don't know what that means, just take my word on this one -- at several points Nelly is shown rubbing up against just about every part of the human physique while wearing Ray's Falcons jersey. Not that we have a problem with impressively salacious imagery per se, but it's hard to know what to make of a gospel rapper who's ok with this video. One extreme or the other would be fine, but not both. Right? WORDY BULLET.

 

Current standings after the jump:

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