The Scale of Falconliness, 4th of July Weenie Roast Edition: Bobby P*trino
234 years ago, the United States declared itself free of the tyranny of King George and his chubby red face. The Fourth has since become a day for reflecting and honoring and setting swine on fire. Today, Falcoholics, as we celebrate with friends and family, let's also take a few seconds to remember the short, cruel reign of another incompetent despot. SOOO-EYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
Ordinarily, we'll restrict entrants in this series to players and coaches who were around for at least four or so seasons, but we'll make an exception today. More lighter fluid, boys. This little piggy's still squealing.
Bobby P*trino, Momentary Participant (January 7, 2007 - December 11, 2007)
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Current standings after the jump:
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Becoming a Falcons supporter during the Vick era and then losing interest in the 2007 season
is actually pretty Falconly if you think about it
hard to give Petrino a 1
Since it’s still in positive territory. Even Nick Saban gave it a full TWO years. What a douche.
On a side note
Someone else pointed out that they don’t remember voting on Brooking. Where is that article? I doubt he would keep a near 9 rating if put to a vote. And I think I’d remember that one.
I'd give Brooking an 8, probably
I think he’d be a very polarizing figure, but I’m willing to forgive a season’s worth of jackassery to recognize what he did for the franchise since he was drafted.
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Has anyone seen NFL Network's Top 10 Coaches Who Belonged in College?
Bobby Petrino is #1. All of the analysts/commentators roasted him for being the biggest piece of scum alive. It showed Arthur Blank at the press conference and had some of the players (including Joey Harrington?!) straight up calling him a coward. Overall a pretty nice description of the whole event.
He nearly destroyed the franchise
What Micheal Vick did was horrible, and he deserved punishment, however, it was nothing compared to what Petrino did to this club on the field. Petrino was not a leader of men. In fact, he would have been well served to teach midget football and never go any further.
Thankfully his incompetence only lasted one year or we would never have gotten Micheal Turner to sign as a free agent. It’s also unlikely that Thomas Dimitroff would be calling the shots either. The one good thing this pig gave to Falcons fans was Chris Redman. That one move merited him a 1.
FlaconsFan384
The Future of the Franchise!
He was a leader...
…he is the first to lead the other rats off the sinking ship!
by johnnybacardi on Jul 4, 2010 12:21 PM EDT up reply actions
The draft that year actually wasn't terrible
But I don’t give Petrino all that much credit for that.
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Bird Droppings
I don’t even won’t to say he’s unfalcony, because it has the word Falcon’s in it. He’s nothing butt bird dropping. Fly high Falcons.
I got this friend that went to Arkansas.
They think he’s the best thing since flushable camodes. Which wasn’t long ago. She doesn’t understand our disgust. It was our plight alone but we are better for it we could look at it as the great colon cleanse that cured a franchise.
Rule #1: Double tap.
by Ball Hawk on Jul 4, 2010 11:49 AM EDT via mobile reply actions
We're talking about Arkansas...
…what do they know about flushable commodes?
I kid my Arkansas friends, from another state with image issues, Kentucky.
by johnnybacardi on Jul 4, 2010 12:17 PM EDT up reply actions
One of my cousins is a big Arkansas fan
He heard me speaking fairly and accurately of P*trino’s character and said something like, “Yeah, well who wouldn’t do whatever it took to get out of coaching the Falcons?” I was like, “We’re 11-5 right now.” (We were 11-5 at the time.)
I say all that to say yes, our Ozark friends really like this individual and will be surprised to see him leave soon.
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0 really should be an option...
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38 votes, 38 1's.
Falcoholics, you have made me proud on this glorious day.
I also gave him a 1, though I immediately asked myself why “0” or some crude word wasn’t a lower option.
"Ryan, under center. Single receiver set, to either side. Ryan, gonna throw. First professional pass.....CAUGHT!! Jenkins! 30! 25! 20! 15! 10! 5! He lives in Atlanta!!!" -Wes Durham
I'm disappointed
…that negative numbers were not available for us to give this weasely cowardly rat bastard the number he deserves.
Yeah, I’m holding a grudge. I’ll say this for him, he’s a hell of a lot less outmatched in the college game than he was in the pros. It was painful to watch him try to boss guys who get paid around.
A 1 is the only answer
He was a bad coach, completely inept in dealing with his own players and a horrible liar even in a sport that’s filled with them.
Good riddance.
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Petrino's mom
…is she registered here?
by johnnybacardi on Jul 4, 2010 12:41 PM EDT up reply actions
Petrino's mom.
Good insult.
Rule #1: Double tap.
by Ball Hawk on Jul 4, 2010 2:47 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
-10
I would love to hear what the players thought about him. 11-5 Beitch! We bounced bak hella hard lol
by DEMBIRDZCUZ! on Jul 4, 2010 1:00 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
Don't worry, I voted a 1
But on the opposite sides of things, if he hadn’t left, who knows who our coach would be now.
I would absolutely hire Pat Summitt over Bobby.
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by Jason Kirk on Jul 4, 2010 1:54 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Or Vivian Stringer (I think that's her name, the Rutgers coach.)
"Ryan, under center. Single receiver set, to either side. Ryan, gonna throw. First professional pass.....CAUGHT!! Jenkins! 30! 25! 20! 15! 10! 5! He lives in Atlanta!!!" -Wes Durham
General business:
1. Yes, the scale goes from 1 to 10, even for P*trino and Nobis. Once we’re all done, I’ll find a nice 1-to-10 chart that doesn’t make it look like we chose to give P*trino the honor of having an entire integer by his name, and we can frame it, but for now the self-updating Google Doc chart will have to do.
2. How offended are we by including votes made by podcast panels? Including our Brooking vote made sense (and helped us cover ground a little more quickly — we’ve got ground to cover, folks) but if you guys would prefer we can open those up for public voting as well.
Falcocracy at work.
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Falcocracy!
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It may not be a conspiracy
but I can say I’m disappointed. I certainly wouldn’t have given the man a 9. But if that’s how things are going to be, well…
by TheAreopagite on Jul 4, 2010 2:19 PM EDT up reply actions
I don't want to call anyone out
This is a free and open place to vote, no one should be criticized for their opinions, etc.
But I really don’t get the 6 vote. The 10s, I assume, are either cruel jokes or votes by opposing fans. But a 6? How does a guy who doesn’t even finish out an entire, dreadful season with the team earn a 6?
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Source of the 10 votes, by the way
Arkansas fans. So nobody gets angry for no good reason.
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I am not sure...
…if I lol’d till lunch came back up or I vomited at their ineptitude to see a loser.
Also, I shouldn’t be too shocked about it based on their replies. Obviously they didn’t read the article, applaud someone for not finishing out their contract and think all Falcons do jail time. Such ignorance is akin to everyone outside of AR thinking that the entire state is inbred and missing most of their teeth…while it might be funny to joke about, it is just not true, even though some I have seen in the Ozarks perpetuate the stereotype quite nicely.
I've figured out how they found this blasphemous post so quickly:
Looking at this post’s content, it’s clear one of them had a Google Alert set up for “petrino fluid.” We won’t speculate on WHY someone would need to monitor such a term, especially given the free-wheelin’ homophobia that’s apparently encouraged over there.
Guess we should just humor them. They’re just a little nervous, as they know Bobby’s really feeling the seven month itch by now. Vote finalized, standings updated, going to shoot some fireworks.
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thank you
Maybe in the future we can put some form of control on the voting? Like they must be a member for 24 hours before they can vote and they must have posted something prior? Seeing as to how some of the “new” members on here have a hard time being able to write something to somewhat validate their vote I think this would settle that issue.
Currently it's set that you don't even have to be a member to vote
I kind of like it that way. If people want to waste their time voting on a poll and influencing it…well, hell, that’s okay. Free country.
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if thats the case
than they should be making us some bbq pork!
What in P*trinos mom is frick?
Rule #1: Double tap.
by Ball Hawk on Jul 4, 2010 5:03 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
I enjoyed their knocks against the Falcons fanbase
Clearly nothing but class acts up in Arkansas. Since you guys like Petrino so much, maybe you can tell us: is quitting a team in cowardly disgrace a core trait of his, or is that just something he does when he’s ashamed of his embarrassing performance as a coach? I’ve often wondered.
Petrino learned how to quit a team
from the falcons. The so-called ‘team leaders’ quit on him and their teammates early in the season.
wow ...
I like to – generally speaking – have faith in humanity, but those are the kind of people that make me want to relinquish my American citizenship and move to Krygyzstan.
It amazes me how stupid people are. Actually, nevermind, they’re from Arkansas, I’m not surprised.
I second this post wholeheartedly.
I try to give people the benefit of the doubt most of the time (almost to a fault, at that) and humanity never fails to make me wonder how these people can get away with having high paying jobs over someone less fortunate who actually uses their brain.
"Ryan, under center. Single receiver set, to either side. Ryan, gonna throw. First professional pass.....CAUGHT!! Jenkins! 30! 25! 20! 15! 10! 5! He lives in Atlanta!!!" -Wes Durham
It's not like Arkansas
is winning anything anytime soon.
True randomness might get you calling a Hail Mary play on first-and-goal from the two yard line. You might catch the defense off guard with that, but your likelihood of scoring would be much less than if you called the utterly predictable halfback dive. - TSK
The people that gave Petrino
a high score are morons. The vote asked about how Falconly the person was, not how good a college coach Petrino is. Well, even in that case Petrino still sucks because he’s one of the worst coaches in the SEC.
I doubt the people in Arkansas that voted know where Atlanta is or that he was with the Falcons and quit during the season because he was a coward and a bad coach.
Wow those Arkansas fans sure are classy
The blog is filled with random profanity and idiocy. I hope they enjoyed mucking with the vote, because now they have to find something else childish to do.
I liked how Razorbro 1 said "They're still talking about Petrino 30 months later," and then Razorbro 2 said "Over a decade and a half ago, some Falcons fans didn't stand for the Anthem."
Thus, today we learned the only acceptable grudges in Arkansas are old, old, anecdotal grudges.
I’m just amazed there were Falcons fans in the Dome during the Anthem.
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Rec you if I could
Rule #1: Double tap.
by Ball Hawk on Jul 4, 2010 10:46 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
The thing is
people only do crap like this because it’s the internet. I’ve never met anyone offline who has liked Bobby Petrino. There’s a meme for this sort of thing…
epitome of idiocy
Wow those Arkansas fans sure are classy
“The blog is filled with random profanity and idiocy. I hope they enjoyed mucking with the vote, because now they have to find something else childish to do.”
And I had no idea we were all bloggers.
Just like the dinosaur, it took a while to reach the brain
Atlanta will win a championship....someday
It's a message board, I believe
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Only in format
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Petrino is the worst person alive… I wish we could stick him in the hole to plug the BP spill. As soon as the Falcons hired Petrino I knew we were destined for failure… The best news was the day after the Monday Night Game when he resigned. I was so happy we didn’t have to deal with his crap for 3 years of failure. And thankfully he didn’t draft brian brohm, but that draft class still sucked. And arkansas for hiring him is equally as dumb in my opinion. I could never play for a guy that pulled that crap.
i almost threw up just saying his name...
I quite literally hope that a bottle rocket hits him in the face and he loses an eye….. No, two eyes! I hope loses both eyes. That f-ing jerk!
by ramsjigga on Jul 4, 2010 8:37 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
It's a great thing in the world
Too see all the videos on youtube of people, players, and analysts calling out Petrino. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Probably the exact same feeling of his soul-in the twilight zone
I laughed that P*trino got no bar whatsoever.
I’m sad that people, or more specifically, deluded Arkansas fans, feel the need to pollute our poll despite them knowing why we all hate this man and what this poll is for. Hooray, immaturity.
"Ryan, under center. Single receiver set, to either side. Ryan, gonna throw. First professional pass.....CAUGHT!! Jenkins! 30! 25! 20! 15! 10! 5! He lives in Atlanta!!!" -Wes Durham
Arkansas fans are cute.
They love this guy for some reason. I guess they enjoy having a low class coach to go along with their low class program. Talk about an irrelevant football program. They will never do anything of note in the SEC. Awful state, awful school, awful fans.
by LongSufferingFalconsFan on Jul 5, 2010 2:13 AM EDT reply actions
Vishnu I hate that man ...
If you can even call him a man. What he did was cowardly and unfair, but ultimately we’re probably where we are today because of him, at least in some respects. Oh the irony!
I bet he can't stand himself.
He has to live with himself everyday.
Rule #1: Double tap.
by Ball Hawk on Jul 5, 2010 10:14 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions
Falcon fans need to get over Petrino.
arthur blank made the decision to hire Petrino and everyone was ecstatic thinking of a Petrino offense led my dog killer vick. Petrino was not a good fit in the pro game as a head coach. He was very successful as a OC. Did Petrino do the right thing in walking away from the bill of goods that blank handed him? YES. Did he do it in the best manner? NO.
Think about this IF Bobby Petrino had not left the falcons, would Matt Ryan be the qb? Maybe. Would Smith be on the coaching staff? No he’d be coaching some team to wins over the falcons. Also the team quit on Petrino long before he left them. Was it a personality conflict? Hell yes. Both sides of the equation (Petrino and the players) showed a lack of professionalism during the season. Petrino didn’t manage the team well and the players sulked and wouldn’t perform. Notice all the so-called “team leaders” that blank, Smith and the GM all got rid of after taking over.
Just get over it.
I agree that the entire season was a disaster, top to bottom
But I think it’s pretty natural to remember fiascoes like that, especially when we’re only a couple of years removed from them. I’m sure Hogs fans remember the end of Houston Nutt’s tenure less than fondly, too.
But you’re right. What’s important at this point is that you guys are happy with Petrino as the coach for Arkansas and we’re happy with Smith in Atlanta. Things worked out well for both of us. Hopefully, that will continue.
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This was a series of post dedicated to how Falconly former members of the Falcons were/are.
Therefore one can only expect a cascade of hot, stinky poo to erupt at the mention of the one who shall not be mentioned. No matter how it all turned out he’s still a rat bastard.
Rule #1: Double tap.
by Ball Hawk on Jul 5, 2010 1:03 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
Why would Petrino even be in a poll about the Falcons?
Every single fan of the Falcons despises him so why put him in a series that should be about honoring Falcons? Then the article makes the thinly veiled shots about him going to the Razorbacks and then that just segues into the fans throwing their barbs in also. We’re going on year three since Petrino’s time with the Falcons. Just let it go.
It's not that difficult.
Every single fan of the Falcons despises him so why put him in a series that should be about honoring Falcons?
Read the goddamn italicized text at the very top of the post. It’s literally the very first paragraph.
We’re going on year three since Petrino’s time with the Falcons.
We’re also going on year 32 since Claude Humphrey’s time, and we still talk about him. So what?
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Purely a different point of view.
Personally I don’t see the point in including Petrino and Mora with a group of Falcon players and coaches that everyone likes. Regardless if there is a disclaimer at the beginning of the post. It doesn’t do any good to keep dragging it up. Does it?
We dub you Positive Pig!, as you only like to read happy stories and gentle wishes.
It’s a sad fact, Positive Pig!, that not every post around here is going to be about Skittles and ditch lilies.
Does it do Positive Pig! any good to worry about the content of a blog dedicated to a team he doesn’t root for? Of course it does! EVERYTHING does Positive Pig! good!

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by Jason Kirk on Jul 5, 2010 2:30 PM EDT up reply actions 7 recs
We're on a mission
To find the Ultimate Anti-falcon ever. And since this is a democracy, the Falcon fanbase gets to choose. That is why we bring it up
Jason I live in Athens.
And have lived in Georgia for over 30 years. I listen to, watch and root for the several teams including the Falcons. Being a Razorback fan I’ve taken a lot of BS from Falcon fans. I fully admit that the resignation (quitting) should have been handled differently. I’ve maintained that from day one. I know that the Falcons and Razorbacks are better off by the resignation.
Technically
It’s still up the air if the Razorbacks are better off or not, we know the falcons are.
True randomness might get you calling a Hail Mary play on first-and-goal from the two yard line. You might catch the defense off guard with that, but your likelihood of scoring would be much less than if you called the utterly predictable halfback dive. - TSK
I can understand that sentiment.
From a Razorback fans standpoint the Hogs are better off with Petrino than Nutt. We’ll find out for sure this year. This is the first year that fan expectations (9-3 or better) and media expectations (ranked around 20) have been there since Petrino took over. Fortunately the season isn’t that far off.
Petrino was right to leave!
He should’ve burnt Atlanta to the ground like I did back in the day. Would’ve made a great improvement.
by General William Tecumseh Sherman on Jul 5, 2010 6:41 PM EDT reply actions
Wow
You’ve done a surprisingly good job at keeping up with current affairs in the city, considering your new career as a skeleton.
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Must get boring, just laying there and all.
I’d have DirecTV sent to my casket, too, if I knew I’d be laying there a few billion years.
"Ryan, under center. Single receiver set, to either side. Ryan, gonna throw. First professional pass.....CAUGHT!! Jenkins! 30! 25! 20! 15! 10! 5! He lives in Atlanta!!!" -Wes Durham
welcome hogs
welcome to the atlanta falcons fans boards. I know not much is going on in AR-kansas other than sister porking and meth. So I welcome all of you to our boards.
My wife moved to Arkansas near Memphis when she was 2.
She never had grits or chicken and dumplings til she met me. Her family is from CA. I said all that to say this: it’s true about the meth thing and most likely the porking thing too. Those people stick their hands in deep river holes to catch catfish with their hands. Bobby has found himself a nice place to live the rest of his life, hiding under a rock in the buttcrack of America.
Rule #1: Double tap.
by Ball Hawk on Jul 6, 2010 12:05 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions
Deliverance Was Right
Being set in Georgia was right on I guess, since we are talking about stereo-types. Petrino leaving and coming to Arkansas was good for everyone involved, Arkansas, the Falcons and Petrino.
How dare you call me "Petrino"!
I agree with the previous comments we can move on. We are much better off without him and no one with an IQ above breathing would disagree. However we reserve the right to use his name as an extreme insult. He deserves nothing less.
Don't get me started on this...
If I ever see that SOB, I’m going to hand his a**s to him, then kick it, and probably do some spanish inquistionial type stuff as well. He’s nothing but a two bit phoney whose a piece of pig crap. Literally! He’s a liar and a coward. Nothing but the worst to that bantha fodder….
Sureee
You would do nothing of the sort. You would cower in fear and piss your Star Wars underoos if you ever came face to face with BMFP.
Also, who is = Who’s
Hmm ...
First of all, I’d kick him in the junk if I ever saw him. You don’t have to believe me, but I would. He’s a poor excuse for a human being.
Moreover, y’all are 13-12 (5-11 in conference) since his arrival. How’s it feel to be the SEC’s whipping boy?
Sureeee
Again, no you wouldn’t. You would have piss running down your leg and you know it.
Also, if you had any idea of the mess he inherited when he got to Arkansas, you wouldn’t make that comment, or maybe you would, since being honest doesn’t seem to be your strong suit.
I guess I could ask how it feels to be the NFL whipping boy, but we already know you feel like crap, so no need to rub it in.
Can't we all just get along?
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Like hell!
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Maybe I am missing something.
Let’s say I work at a crappy job, say Home Depot for instance. My manager doesn’t like his job and decides to find another. He quits and immediately leaves, as his new job needs him at once. At what point, as a remaining Home Depot employee, do I take to heart that my ex-boss found another job? I am positive that 95% of the readers of this post would not take this personally, and the other 5% that DID take the manager’s departure to heart would be filed under the title of “weeping vagina Nancies”
Somehow, because it is professional sports, the above example does not apply the same. Because we are dealing with fragile human beings, who wrap themselves in padding to avoid any pain, I guess we should multiply any personal effects that a departure would have… but hold that fucking phone! Professional athletes are legally considered adults, and most would be found mentally sound in a court of law. These mentally and emotionally capable human beings are getting paid to change peoples’ lives, and should be given special considerations as a reward for their sacrifices.
Wait a second? They don’t contribute anything to society purely through their trade, you say? Their job is to entertain? Play a game? We hate Petrino because grown-ass men, who get paid handsomely to play a game, are a smidge butt-hurt? Boo fucking hoo, you say?
Every player and coach in the Falcon organization is there for a job. Petrino quit is job for another job. He didn’t burn down an orphanage, he quit his job and some adults got angry over nothing important. Get over it, you fucking weeping vagina Nancies.
by Sir Vick Sabusin on Jul 8, 2010 3:26 AM EDT reply actions

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