The Atlanta Falcons Drinking Guide

Yesterday we learned that our beloved Kroy Biermann's nickname of destiny is actually Duffburger, not Duffman as we'd believed.

After imagining a beer burger made with Duff beer, I decided to fill out The Falcoholic's menu with dranks inspired by our squad. Let's go:

Kroy Biermann's The Duffburger

Beer burger made with Montana's own Big Sky Ale.

Jerious Norwood's Mississippi Bug Juice

According to the Internet, this is a shot of blue vodka plus a mix of orange juice, lemonade, and spindly legs.

Matt Ryan's Matty Ice Natty Ice

It's a can of Natural Ice...

Brent Grimes' JUMPSAUCE!!

HALF-LITER 5-HOUR ENERGY ESPRESSOOOOOOOOO!!

Dan Reeves' A Glass of Red Wine with Dinner on Thursdees

For the antioxidants.

Comrade's White Russian

Obvious.

Keith Brooking's Sad Clown

Obvious.

Jamal Anderson's Dirty (BIRD) Martini

Enjoy 1 dirty martini while dancing In Metrodome endzone.

Jamaal Anderson's Unsweet Tea

The man has AA in his name.

Sam Baker's Sex on the Beach

You can never unthink it.

Mike Vick's Pooch Hooch

Oh come ON. The man opened an Atlanta WINE BAR, then he went to DOG JAIL.

Mike Smith's Hardass Rumbledrink Headshot Lemonade !@#$

1/3 gin, 1/3 DeAngelo Hall, 1/3 NO *^&$ LEMONADE ON MY $%^ SIDELINE.

Roddy White's Johnnie Walker Red & Black

To reflect his team colors and ethnic heritage:

Bob Christian's 2% Cow Milk

Serve at a perfect 59° F.

Harvey Dahl's Karaoke Saké

The only hangover comparable to facing Dahl for four quarters.

Thomas DeCoud's DeCosmo

Because.

Mike Mularkey's Bud Light

Because you always know exactly what you're gonna get.

Tony Gonzalez' Up-Before-Dawn Grass-Fed LifeBoost For Zen Champions

Blend this stuff with lots of fridge plants ("berries" or "fruits, "some green-beans").

You're up... Round out our establishment's selection in the comments.