The Scale of Falconliness: Bob Whitfield

by Jason Kirk on Oct 26, 2010 12:00 PM EDT in The Scale of Falconliness

Bob Whitfield jog-walks into action. Jamie Squire, Getty Images Sport.

Who's the ultimate Falcon? And who's the ultimate anti-Falcon? That's what we're going to find out with our summer project: the Scale of Falconliness. We'll rate former Falcons on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the most Falconly. The rule: minimum of three seasons with the Falcons for coaches, five seasons for players.

Back to it!

Bob Whitfield, Tackle (1992 - 2003)

Falconly

Unfalconly

Twelve years as a Falcon.
Missed only one game as a starter in his first 11 seasons.
1998 Pro Bowler. 1998 was kind of a big year for the Birds, thanks in significant part to Whitfield.
Matt Winkeljohn's Tales from the Atlanta Falcons Sideline has 181 pages spanning the first 40 years of Falcons hist'ry. Fourteen of them are pretty much nothing but cussy Bob Whitfield quotes on the following:
- Dealing with his lazy eye
- Hanging out at the Gold Club with Jamal Anderson
- Gambling with MC Hammer on a team flight
- Defending himself to the media by invoking O.J. Simpson and Bill Clinton (after giving up three penalties in three minutes)
- Developing his patented "jog-walk" to throw off hustle-conscious coaches
- Throwing pro wrestling moves on Aundray Bruce
- Assuming Eugene Robinson's arrest was a Mad TV skit, and on and on.
Instituted Falconly tradition of romancing "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" cast members, as proudly continued by Kroy Biermann.
On the All-Time Atlanta Falcons Madden Team, held down both starting tackle spots.
Founder and CEO of Patchwerk Studios, one of Atlanta's finest hip-hop factories. How Atlanta is it? OutKast, Ludacris, Killer Mike, Cee-Lo, T.I., and Crime Mob have recorded there, so. And everybody else too, from Britney Spears to Cher.
Bob Whitfield knows Cher. This should go in a third column entitled "Wow!" but we don't have one.
During his brief tenure as a New York Giant, earned the nickname Headbutt Bob for his actions in a game against the Saints. Say no more. Left column.
July 19:

In the LA Coliseum with local role players trying to bring a NFL team to Los Angeles! http://tweetphoto.com/33766369less than a minute ago via UberTwitterBob L. Whitfield III
whatupbob
July 30:

@msenna never, these fools out in Cali wanna grow weed in the LA Coliseum, not play football.less than a minute ago via ÜberTwitterBob L. Whitfield III
whatupbob

Instituted tradition of Atlanta Falcons left tackles getting flagged like blog comments.
Did more holding than Atlas.
Inspired more yellow laundry than Lance Armstrong.
Gave up more yards than Kelo v. City of New London.
Played a few games for the Jaguars and Giants at the end.

Current standings after the jump:

Poll

How Falconly is Bob Whitfield?

1

3 votes

2

0 votes

3

5 votes

4

5 votes

5

5 votes

6

11 votes

7

38 votes

8

31 votes

9

33 votes

10

47 votes

178 votes | Poll has closed

Tweet Comment 19 comments | 0 recs |

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Comments

8

For better or for worse, Whitfield was ours. Plus throwing wrestling moves at Aundray Bruce is awesome.

by Dave Choate on Oct 26, 2010 12:03 PM EDT reply actions

Who wants to see me put our #1 flop into a sharpshooter?!?

by aces666high on Oct 26, 2010 3:37 PM EDT up reply actions

i wouldnt wish that upon any human human being

those effers hurt!!

by tallen629 on Oct 26, 2010 6:31 PM EDT up reply actions

Hey look, more anti-LA sentiments.

wait what

haha, i don’t want the bengals to be a bunch of potheads.

by Doc Scratch on Oct 26, 2010 12:16 PM EDT reply actions

8

I wouldnt mind a team out in LA.
And I gave a 8 to him. He wasnt a top of the line elite player but he was a player that gave you everything he could every day. You always knew what to expect from him and thats more than I could say about some of our current players.

Dont cloud the issue with facts!

by muuzilla on Oct 26, 2010 12:32 PM EDT reply actions

We are still doing this?

But anywho that’s what I wish the Falcons would wear again.
The 2003 Black Jerseys with white pants.
Not since that season they’ve done that.

When you see a person smile, it really doesn't mean anything, unless they are smiling from within...which can be difficult to detect.

by brotherbrown on Oct 26, 2010 12:40 PM EDT reply actions

those were cool

but i prefer the red cuz its my favorite color. and i secretly think black falcons jersey = mike vick red = everyone playing now

by tallen629 on Oct 26, 2010 6:36 PM EDT up reply actions

Wearing Black more

makes the red jerseys more special
But no one listens to me so I’ll STFU!

When you see a person smile, it really doesn't mean anything, unless they are smiling from within...which can be difficult to detect.

by brotherbrown on Oct 27, 2010 3:09 PM EDT up reply actions

10

On top of all his Falcony achievements, I have spent some time with him personally. SUCH a rock solid, smart & funny guy. One of my best NFL related memories was getting invited to his mom’s place for a big party for the team & families to kickoff the season. Got to meet a bunch of players & played some cards with them.

In a way, each of us has an El Guapo to face.

by runningback on Oct 26, 2010 1:03 PM EDT reply actions

Kelo

Did you just slip in a law joke? And a bad one at that?

by danielduello on Oct 26, 2010 1:44 PM EDT reply actions

No, that's a pretty good joke.

I am proud to be a Kennesaw State Fighting Owl. -- Vince Dooley

SB Nation Atlanta · Twitter

by Jason Kirk on Oct 26, 2010 2:36 PM EDT up reply actions

Mad TV skit???

That by itself is awesome. I also liked the fact that when we used to be on national tv and they’d have the players announce themselves in the starting lineup, he wouldn’t get all puffed up announcing his college like so many others(da U!, THE university of…). Unless I’ve had one too many knocks to the head from my hockey days he used to just say his mom’s name right?

by aces666high on Oct 26, 2010 3:33 PM EDT reply actions

Yes!

“Bob Whitfield, lobster bisque.” I remember that one.

I am proud to be a Kennesaw State Fighting Owl. -- Vince Dooley

SB Nation Atlanta · Twitter

by Jason Kirk on Oct 26, 2010 4:56 PM EDT up reply actions

old school MNF

ESPN MNF started that for the 2006 season then Tirico did it in 2007 and then it was silently scrolled in 08/09 and then back to Tirico this season

When you see a person smile, it really doesn't mean anything, unless they are smiling from within...which can be difficult to detect.

by brotherbrown on Oct 27, 2010 3:11 PM EDT up reply actions

Whitfield was blind in that eye, IIRC

Still had a solid career despite it all. That’s pretty damn Falconly, about a 9 in my book.

by tom slick on Oct 26, 2010 5:18 PM EDT reply actions

Yea, I remember that too

by aces666high on Oct 26, 2010 8:14 PM EDT up reply actions

If you thought the Kelo joke was bad...(I actually liked it)

Bob Whitfield was guilty of holding almost as much as Bill Clinton in a room full of interns.

by CaptK on Oct 26, 2010 8:12 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs

False Start on the offense...

by YokoFalcon on Oct 26, 2010 9:11 PM EDT reply actions

Falconly does not have to equal "Awesome Football Paragon of Responsibility"

So I gave him an 8. Bob Whitfield = 5 yard false starts and 10 yard holding calls, but he was the best we had at the position. I’m not sure how many fewer concussions/cracked ribs Atlanta QB’s might’ve had with a different O-Line, and I certainly can’t blame him for Jeff George…

Patchwerk might be his crowning achievement. That, and divorcing his HWofA wife.

by Mnemonic on Oct 27, 2010 9:15 AM EDT reply actions