If you don't like laughing at the writers of The Falcoholic or don't care about fantasy football, this isn't the post for you. Shoo!
If you do care, though, we've now knocked off five weeks of football and some clear trends are emerging in our CBS Sports fantasy league, which includes some of our staff and talented readers. Let's take a quick run through the division leaders and where The Falcoholic's writers rank, shall we?
The Bartkowskis Division
Leader: Auto Win Button, 4-0-1
Auto Win Button is led by our own Caleb Rutherford, who is destroying the league at the moment. He leads all teams in scoring by almost 50 points, on the backs of Peyton Manning, Jahvid Best and LeSean McCoy.
Writer Rank: WAKKA Flacco Flame, 1-4-0
Jason Kirk really hates his fantasy team. Based on that fact alone, it's little surprise that he's scored less points than anyone else in the league. Chad Ochocinco continues to be the anchor of crap that ties his ship of suck to the shores of loss island....if you get what I'm saying.
The Humphreys Division
Leaders: PAPredators and Silent Rage, both 3-2-0
Readers mc29012 and redfalcons2 are tied for the division lead in this competitive race. PAPredators are outscoring Silent Rage 445 to 366, but the mute angry dudes are also leading the league in defense, which in fantasy is not a real thing. We'll see if redfalcon can keep that good karma coming.
Writer Rank: Gunless Gunfighters, 2-2-1
Adam Schultz has experienced the dreaded fantasy tie, but it's left him a mere half game out of first. If Frank Gore ever gets it going and Tom Brady can survive life without Randy Moss, he may make a run here.
The Nobises Division
Leader: #2 is Better than #1, 4-1-0
Reader Jeff S won the whole thing last year and he continues to outsmart us on a weekly basis. He's got Aaron Rodgers, Arian Foster and LaDanian Tomlinson, so it's little wonder he's got the lead in perhaps the most competitive division in the whole league.
Writer Rank: Falcoholic Reunion Tour, 2-3-0
Yes, that's me. After starting the season 0-3 because Ray Rice and Shonn Greene were playing like chumps, I've managed to string together a couple of respectable weeks.....but I'm still in the basement. Thank God for Hakeem Nicks.
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