Falcoholic Announcement

by TO falcon on Mar 23, 2009 1:04 PM EDT Comment 35 comments

I got drunk last night drinking Falcohol and i had an arguement with a Redskins friend of mine over who was better, Turner or Portis. In some strange moment i felt that if i could grow my facial like Michael Turner in the off season it would prove me right. Not one to shy from a challenge/dare/bet i duly accepted, probably something to do with the Falcohol.

Now i am not exactly blessed in the facial hair department so maybe some quick maturing is in order (if anyone has any tips to enhance facial hair growth let me know!) Another problem is its quite fair and hard to see on photos! haha

Also as a recently single 20 year old, this could be social suicide, but it will be worth it to win this debate!

This is Turner (incase you live under a rock) and the aim...

via i.cdn.turner.com

And here is me currently after 3 days of not shaving....:

via i223.photobucket.com

so as you can see i have a long way to go and im glad i have till September to get it going on!

This FanPost was written by one of The Falcoholic's talented readers. It does not necessarily reflect the views of The Falcoholic.

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...

cant see the pics.

by TheFranchiseis#2 on Mar 23, 2009 4:47 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Me neither ...

but it’s a VERY commendable idea. Portis is a really weird dude (by the way). Y’all remember when he had all those pseudo-personalities a couple of years back?

"He's getting better, but he's not there yet ..."
- Bobby Cox (talking about Boyer)

by FrankyWren on Mar 23, 2009 7:36 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Yeah

funny shit right there. I think he sort of got rid of them once Sean Taylor (RIP) died, though. They were apparently really tight

by acie4mvp on Mar 23, 2009 11:32 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

getting the picture issue sorted now

go hard or go home

by TO falcon on Mar 23, 2009 7:53 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

How would you describe the look?

The words “bushy goatee” come to mind.

"He's getting better, but he's not there yet ..."
- Bobby Cox (talking about Boyer)

by FrankyWren on Mar 23, 2009 10:23 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

I don't remember

this goatee. I thought he had a chinstrap or something

by acie4mvp on Mar 23, 2009 11:33 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

I had his bushy goatee until I chopped it off for a job interview.

"If the Falcons ever manage to win a Super Bowl in my lifetime, I'll french kiss a toilet." - a friend.

by tlozwarlock on Mar 24, 2009 12:48 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

In some strange moment i felt that if i could grow my facial like Michael Turner in the off season it would prove me right.

Win. This statement is, of course, absolutely true.

Maybe there is no Heaven. Or maybe this is all pure gibberish — a product of the demented imagination of a lazy drunken hillbilly with a heart full of hate who has found a way to live out where the real winds blow — to sleep late, have fun, get wild, drink whisky, and drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind except falling in love and not getting arrested...Res ipsa loquitur. Let the good times roll.

by iRonin on Mar 24, 2009 8:19 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

I don't recomend it

Turner can get away with it. He’s in the NFL…he can get away with almost anything.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=soul+patch

"When I played pro football, I never set out to hurt anyone deliberately - unless it was, you know, important, like a league game or something"

-Dick Butkus

by zooker on Mar 24, 2009 11:36 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

got to love urbandictionary

n. The beautiful garden of man-hair below my disgustingly wet lower lip.

i hate to point out this sint a soul patch, that is the bit of hair under the lip. this is an unholy amount of chin hair.

go hard or go home

by TO falcon on Mar 24, 2009 12:04 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

aint*

go hard or go home

by TO falcon on Mar 24, 2009 12:04 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I don't know I'd call it a soul patch ...

it’s too low. It’s a goatee, albeit a bushy one.

"He's getting better, but he's not there yet ..."
- Bobby Cox (talking about Boyer)

by FrankyWren on Mar 24, 2009 8:08 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

As a guy with a rich, full goatee

Allow me to gently mock you via this.

In all seriousness, good luck. For an added bonus, insist that your friends call you “Burner.”

by Dave the Falconer on Mar 24, 2009 12:31 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

i admit

im that guy that cant grow em! but ive got till september/august!

go hard or go home

by TO falcon on Mar 24, 2009 10:30 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I'm rooting for you

Keep us posted!

by Dave the Falconer on Mar 26, 2009 11:26 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Penny Arcade reference = win.

"If the Falcons ever manage to win a Super Bowl in my lifetime, I'll french kiss a toilet." - a friend.

by tlozwarlock on Mar 24, 2009 11:06 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I don't care if it ma kes me a huge geek

I love PA.

by Dave the Falconer on Mar 26, 2009 11:26 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Dude

I’ve been reading since their second year. I love their podcasts. I’m loving them playing Dungeons and Dragons.

"If the Falcons ever manage to win a Super Bowl in my lifetime, I'll french kiss a toilet." - a friend.

by tlozwarlock on Mar 27, 2009 5:23 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

At least it's not gray...

This is why I dont have my goatee any more. started grayin up on me.

Life is a garden. Dig it!

by Hardcore Falcon on Mar 25, 2009 11:16 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

I guess your right

it isn’t really a soul patch. I was going to go with face p*bes but decided that would be rude and possibly inappropriate for this board

"When I played pro football, I never set out to hurt anyone deliberately - unless it was, you know, important, like a league game or something"

-Dick Butkus

by zooker on Mar 25, 2009 11:53 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

LMAO

Probably a better description than bushy goatee to be honest.

"He's getting better, but he's not there yet ..."
- Bobby Cox (talking about Boyer)

by FrankyWren on Mar 25, 2009 12:09 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

well if i cant grow it long enough i might have to harvest elsewhere to make that statement correct

go hard or go home

by TO falcon on Mar 25, 2009 7:54 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

As long as the guy you're making fun of takes it in stride

It’s all in good fun.

by Dave the Falconer on Mar 26, 2009 11:27 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

i broke....:(

had a date….had to trim the beard as the guys were calling me pube face, and the thought of being rejected by the girl made me do it.

back to day 2 length. got till August though so its not over!

go hard or go home

by TO falcon on Mar 29, 2009 12:47 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Bah!

What the deuce? You have to stick w/ it. If the females won’t accept you … then find another female. Judging by your willingness to get back on the wagon, I’m going to assume that (a) the chick didn’t care about it or (b) it didn’t work out.

"He's getting better, but he's not there yet ..."
- Bobby Cox (talking about Boyer)

by FrankyWren on Mar 29, 2009 1:55 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

My fiance plays with my goatee.

Find some womanly women!

"If the Falcons ever manage to win a Super Bowl in my lifetime, I'll french kiss a toilet." - a friend.

by tlozwarlock on Mar 29, 2009 4:22 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Chicks dig a hirsute fellow

At least, that’s what my 1910 copy of The Gentleman’s Guide To The Fairer Sex says.

by Dave the Falconer on Mar 29, 2009 3:10 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Ha

I went with the T.J. Duckett look a few years ago; shaved head with full beard, and I actually got more than a few compliments from the ladies. It’s actually one of my favorite looks. Too bad it didn’t make him any better though, or I would have kept it.

by Jesse28 on Mar 30, 2009 9:03 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

NOTHING ...

will ever make TJ any better. He could go all roidtastic, grow another 3 inches, and gain 35 lbs of muscle, and he’d still suck.

"He's getting better, but he's not there yet ..."
- Bobby Cox (talking about Boyer)

by FrankyWren on Mar 30, 2009 8:29 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Well

My intent, for what it’s worth,was never to try to make him any better. I never liked him myself.

by Jesse28 on Mar 31, 2009 8:57 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I must commend

your honesty

though I’d really like to see you stick with it. This has been one of the more entertaining topics to follow – and think of it this way, if Turner continues to be the beast he was this last season, everyone here will believe that you and your dedicated attempts at facial hair had something to do with it.

by MentallyMIA on Mar 30, 2009 6:12 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs