A Look Ahead: Get Your Falcohol

by tlozwarlock on Dec 9, 2009 11:00 PM EST in Editorial Comment 18 comments

Preface:

Now that I've set the tone...

New Orleans Saints 2: The Season Definer
Where: Georgia Dome
When: Sunday December 13th, 2009 @ 1:00pm
Network: FOX
Why: Divisional Game

Importance: Serious Business.

Notes: See what 'Bama did to ol' Timmy Tebow last Saturday? Yeah, that's gonna be Brees this weekend. GET READY TO CRY, DREW.

The Falcons win if: ... there ain't no if's anymore. Falcons have been to the bottom of the barrel and they're going to be blasting their way out.

The Saints win if: ... no ifs here, either. Saints have about as much chance to win as I've got to win Miss America.

Final Score: Eleventybillion to two. Yeah, John Parker gives them a mercy safety by sitting down in the endzone willfully at the end of the game. Just to let them leave with an teensy bit of pride.

New York Jets
Where: Giants Stadium
When: Sunday December 20th, 2009 @ 1:00pm
Network: FOX
Why: Because New Yorkers couldn’t get enough of us the first go round against the Giants.

Importance: Serious Business

Notes: Sanchez, manchez. Matty Ice turns the field into an ice rink and plays hockey the only way he knows how: forechecking the defense.

The Falcons win if: ... What did I say about "if" 's? There ain't none. It's all gravy, baby.

The Jets win if: ... Peyton Manning, in a maniacal fit of fail, dresses up like Sanchez for his latest Direct TV commercial.

Score prediction: 255 to 17. The stadium is so old it only counts up to the max hexadecimal numerical value, ala old school Madden. Falcons' TDs stop scoring points midway through second quarter.

Buffalo Bills
Where: Georgia Dome
When: Sunday December 27th, 2009 @ 1:00pm
Network: CBS
Why: The Bills aren't looking too good. Uh oh...

Importance: Serious Business

Notes: If you think for one minute that the Falcons' forgot your Christmas present, think again. It's just a little late comin'.

Prediction: Falcons win.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers With a Vengeance
Where: Raymond James Stadium
When: Sunday January 3rd, 2009 @ 1:00pm
Network: FOX
Why: Divisional Game

Importance: Serious Business

Notes: Tampa rolls over on this one, desperately wanting to have been only the second team to ever go 1-15

Prediction: Falcons win

Current season record: PUSH

Current season prediction: WIN

tlozwarlock's Current Prediction record: WIN

...

I drank up. What's your excuse?

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Comments

I see nothing wrong with that assessment

none at all…

by MostlyCorndog on Dec 9, 2009 11:47 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

Glug glug glug

by Dave the Falconer on Dec 9, 2009 11:53 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

Falcohol poisoning, oh no! That injury takes forever to heal!

Regardless of tloz’ condition, the Falcons may try to bring him back before he’s fully recovered…

by tom slick on Dec 10, 2009 12:44 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

Great outlook

on a more sober thought – is there a chance they’d let JPW play so that he could sit in the end zone?

Atlanta Falcons fan in Moscow, Russia

by Gemini-RU on Dec 10, 2009 4:53 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

Only one thing I can think to say...

HELL YES

by Jebidillah on Dec 10, 2009 6:24 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

No excuse

But if I were in America I would be under the age. Thank god I live in Australia, gimme some of that Tooheys Extra Dry Falcohol.

Australian Atlanta Falcons Fan EST 2003

by Grayson on Dec 10, 2009 7:16 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

That must have been annoying during your New York trip.

How did that go, by the way? (Apart from the whole losing-to-the-Giants-in-overtime debacle, of course…)

We’re going to win this Sunday. Certum est, quia impossible est.

by Ignoramus on Dec 10, 2009 10:38 AM EST up reply actions 0 recs

I got photos and videos so I will post it on here.

Australian Atlanta Falcons Fan EST 2003

by Grayson on Dec 11, 2009 8:04 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Awesome

The stadium is so old it only counts up to the max hexadecimal numerical value, ala old school Madden. Falcons’ TDs stop scoring points midway through second quarter.

Matt Ryan’s TD passes are going to re-set and start back from zero after he throws too many, also.

"Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital." - Aaron Levenstein

by orang3b on Dec 10, 2009 10:09 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

There's a fly in my Falcohol!

Glug, glug, crunch, crunch, glug, glug, glug.

How many more days, Lord, must I walk through the wilderness?
GO FALCONS!!!

by AnOldBird on Dec 10, 2009 10:25 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

Hell yes!

its good to see some positivity on this blog! I finally signed up after lurking for 12 games to tell you how awesome this post is.

by fireandice on Dec 10, 2009 11:15 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

Glad to have you on board.

Thanks for the kind words!

You have opinions. We all do. Some of yours may have to do with the Falcons. Sign up today and share them.

by tlozwarlock on Dec 10, 2009 12:16 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Shots all around!!!!!!

Hell somebody invite Tiger and maybe we can do body shots off of the fine young ladies at the Hooters on Peachtree Street.

Return of the Dirty Birds!!!!!

by gametheory7 on Dec 10, 2009 1:13 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

I thought Falcohol....

was a sugar based kool aide similar to Purple Drank but red in color??? For example, it often contains red jolly ranchers instead of the purple ones. It also contains wild cherry flavored cough syrups.

Just as a contrast, here is what Vikings fans enjoyed up until last weekend:

by xen-cuts on Dec 10, 2009 4:41 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

ingredients of Falcohol

1. sugar
2. water
3. red

by xen-cuts on Dec 10, 2009 4:44 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

That's one of my favorite images ever

I laugh every time I see it.

by Dave the Falconer on Dec 10, 2009 5:19 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

You know what...

I was gonna post saying were not going to do it…

BUT

I dont care! Id rather risk the amazing playoff satisfaction to go out in a blaze of discontent that go out saying i told you so.

LEGOOOOOOOOOOOO!

go hard or go home

by TO falcon on Dec 11, 2009 12:42 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

If we win

I will personally hire an army of 50,000 people (or just lead all the Falcohol filled Birds fans) onto the field and bring down the goalposts. I’ll have to leave around the time the game starts, so if I see JPW sit in the end zone before halftime, I’ll be there.

"Ryan, under center. Single receiver set, time on his side. Ryan, gonna throw. First professional pass.....CAUGHT!! Jenkins! 30! 25! 20! 15! 10! 5! He lives in Atlanta!!!" -Wes Durham

by Zippo729 on Dec 11, 2009 11:32 PM EST reply actions 0 recs