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Talking Saints With Canal Street Chronicles: The Sequel

Grizzled veterans of this site will remember earlier in aught-nine, when I talked to Saintsational of Canal Street Chronicles about Chinese food and hubris. That feature now makes its triumphant return, with my black-and-gold friend and I riffing on snow, fortune cookies and his overwhelming urge to marry another man. No, seriously.

Follow along after the jump, and you might just learn something.

Star-divide

Saintsational: Alright. Let's get this started.

Dave the Falconer:  Indeed.

Saintsational: I'm sure you want to ask me what it's like being the fan of such an awesome team.

Dave the Falconer:  Well, first I'd have to ask why you switched to being a Falcons fan. Seems pretty disloyal to me. But for the sake of humoring you, what's it like to be a Saints fan right now?

Saintsational:  Well, the Saints are kind of a big deal right now. Seriously though, I can't really say enough. It's hard to express in words.. This is something we've all been waiting for years to happen. I told you earlier that it's like everyone in the city drops ecstacy on Sunday and the high lasts all week.

Dave the Falconer:  I certainly am envious of the success this season.

Saintsational:  Did you see Drew on Jay Leno earlier tonight?

Dave the Falconer:  No, I was busy driving through what we New Englanders like to call "a minor inconvenience."

Saintsational:  Inconvenience? Is that traffic? Or snow?

Dave the Falconer:  Big ol' snowstorm.

Saintsational:  Oh, well, your loss dude.

Dave the Falconer:  Is Drew a rock star-type figure in New Orleans at this point?

Saintsational: I don't know about rock star. Maybe more like Tiger Woods before his multiple extramarital affairs.

Dave the Falconer:  So a cello star, maybe?

Saintsational:  I will say this...we're having an election for mayor here in New Orleans next year. If he ran, he would win. Hands down. Wouldn't even need a run-off.

Dave the Falconer:  He's probably also most qualified.

Saintsational:  Haha. I'm laughing because it's true. I'm also crying...because it's true.

Dave the Falconer:  You should probably see a therapist.

Saintsational:  Drew's not as popular in New Orleans as Michael Vick is in Atlanta apparently. What's up with that?

Dave the Falconer:   That's a cheap shot, my friend.

Saintsational:  Door was open. Wiiiiiiiiiiiide open.

Dave the Falconer:  There's still a large and vocal contingent of fans who I would say are equally or more attached to Vick than they are to the Falcons. You saw the results last Sunday.

Saintsational:  Why? Matt Ryan is pretty darn good.

Dave the Falconer:  I'm not licensed to psychoanalyze an entire fan base. So I'll just say...

Dave the Falconer:  Hey! Look over there!  :O

Saintsational:  Where? I don't see anything...

Saintsational:  Oh well, let's move on. Are the Saints going to have the good fortune of not seeing Matt Ryan on Sunday? Please answer Magic-8 ball style.

Dave the Falconer:  Outlook hazy. Try again.

Saintsational:  Damnit. I hate these things...Are the Saints going to have the good fortune of not seeing Matt Ryan on Sunday?

Dave the Falconer:  Outlook good. Instead, you'll face off against the awesome might of Chris Redman.

Saintsational: Seriously? No Matt Ryan?

Dave the Falconer:  Seriously. The coaching staff is saying they won't play Ryan without injured linemen Sam Baker and Harvey Dahl. Something about not getting him killed. I'm a bit hazy on the details.

Saintsational:  Really? That's pretty interesting. It's funny, because that means they don't give a flying you know what about Redman. That must make him feel good.

Dave the Falconer: He used to sell insurance. I'm presuming he has some.

Saintsational:  Ha!  Alright, more injury questions. What about Turner? Please answer this one fortune cookie style.

Dave the Falconer:  Michael Turner are find true love only in playing field. Lucky Numbers: 4 775 33 666. Learn To Speak Chinese: *&@#*$& is Boat.

Saintsational:  You've outdone yourself with that one. So you think he'll play?

Dave the Falconer:  Actually, I'm doubtful he will. Damn fortune cookie format. I think the coaching staff has to take it easy on him, especially because Jason Snelling and Jerious Norwood are good options.

Dave the Falconer:  I noticed that Pierre Thomas, Mike Bell and Reggie Bush were all limited in practice. Who among them will play this weekend? Please answer as if you were Alex Trebek.

Saintsational:  To be sure, the answer we were looking for was, "They will all probably dress this Sunday." We would have also accepted, "The Roaring Twenties will roar on."

Dave the Falconer:  Haha. We would also have accepted "Potent Potables."

Saintsational:  The Penis Mightier for $27,000, Trebek!

Dave the Falconer:  I'll take The Rapist for $200. That's therapist, Mr. Connery!

Saintsational:  Ohhhh, that's good stuff.

Dave the Falconer:  Almost as good as the game that will be played this Sunday! Speaking of which...How does Robert Meachem keep scoring? It seems as though Marques Colston is the target on a lot of tough passes, but Meachem finds his way into the end zone frequently. How do we stop him?

Saintsational:  You can't stop him. You can only hope to contain him. I love Robert Meachem.

Dave the Falconer:  If you love him so much, why don't you marry him? Aside from the fact that it's not legal in Louisiana?

Saintsational:  I would. Dave, if loving Robert Meachem is wrong, I don't want to be right.

Dave the Falconer:  This took an unexpected turn.

Saintsational:  Seriously, everybody has a man-thing for Drew but I think Robert Meachem is winning some admirers.Seriously, though, it's like Payton said a couple of weeks ago...he just has a knack for making things happen and Payton has resigned himself to incorporating Meachem more. If he's available in your fantasy league, pick him up. And with Colston in the mix as well, it's tough for teams to cover. Not only that, there's Devery Henderson and Jeremy Shockey to account for. Meachem has been the beneficiary of all that depth lately. 

Dave the Falconer:   He's been stealing touchdowns from Colston for me. So I think they should call him Robber Filchem. That's just me, though.

Saintsational: My favorite nickname for him is Pontchartrain Meach. That's a reference to old school New Orleans.

Dave the Falconer:   Whoa...Whoa.

Saintsational: I was going to ask you before...how do you expect the Falcons to be able to beat the Saints without Ryan and Turner?

Dave the Falconer:  Simple. Run the ball frequently. Wear down your defense. And count on Redman to deliver short passes that carve up your secondary. Either that or bar the door out of the locker room.

Saintsational:  We're talking about Chris Redman?

Dave the Falconer:  Yup.

Dave the Falconer:  Or as I like to call him...Cristobal Rojohombre.

Saintsational:  Ha. That's funny 'cause it's a different language.

Dave the Falconer: I knew you'd get it.

Saintsational:  Over on The Falcoholic you've got this game listed as a "Season Definer" and list it as "Serious Business." Are you still hopeful for a playoff berth?

Dave the Falconer:  I'm hopeful. But I don't think it's particularly realistic at this point. A winning season is still within our grasp, however.

Dave the Falconer:  What do you think of the possibility of an undefeated season? Should the Saints go for it? And I just died a little inside typing that.

Saintsational:  Yes, I think they should go for it. And they will go for it. Payton has said so and Brees has said so. They are going for it and I couldn't be happier. It's getting really exciting. Now that it's so close and a real possibility, I really want them to get it. That's why last weeks game was such a heartpounder. Every game they win makes that first eventual loss that much worse.

Dave the Falconer:   It should be a good game, then. We played you guys reasonably tough earlier in the season.

Saintsational:  Yeah, I'm definitely concerned. Mainly because of the Saints defense.

Dave the Falconer:  Why, does your defense have more problems than a mathematician's diary? More "Ohnos" than Yoko's family?

Saintsational: Last week against the Redskins they looked like last years defense.. I'm affraid it's getting slightly overlooked because of all the success of the team but with starting cornerbacks Jabari Greer and Tracy Porter out for a little bit, their absence is becoming evident. I'm hoping Greer returns this week. But they won't get very far looking like they did last week. That's why I am glad Redman is getting the start.

Dave the Falconer:  Oh yeah? Well.... >:-(

Saintsational:  With all of the Falcons injuries, has any player stepped up and surprised fans? Any insider fantasy tips?

Dave the Falconer:   Gonzo's always a good choice. And so is Roddy White. Beyond that, there aren't any surprises that are worthwhile from a fantasy perspective. We all love Eric "Special" Weems. He's a great kick returner.

Saintsational:  No players that have stepped up and surprised?

Dave the Falconer:  Not in recent weeks. Did you see the Eagles game?

Dave the Falconer:  Yeesh.

Saintsational:  Yeah, that's true. Sorry, you're still sensitive.

Dave the Falconer:  I'm a Falcons fan. I was born sensitive.

Saintsational: Tell Saints fans something surprising/interesting about the Falcons that we probably don't know.

Dave the Falconer:  Our points for and points against averages are both 23.3, and we're 6-6. So if nothing else, we're remarkably consistent.

Dave the Falconer:  Same question, but for the Saints.

Saintsational:  Sean Payton and Drew Brees are members of the same fraternity.

Saintsational:  I guess we'll end it as we usually do...with a prediction. This will not count toward your three predictions in our weekly prediction contest this friday.

Dave the Falconer:  Gosh darnit.  I predict (foolishly) a 27-24 Falcons win. Based on nothing but gumption. You?

Saintsational: I think it will be close but the Saints will be on top. Let's go with 35-32 Saints.

1 recs  |  Comment 22 comments |

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good dialogue

I didn’t know Redman used to sell insurance – is that true?
There is a QB still in action, who used to bag groceries before he became an NFL star with a SB ring. Any hope that we could some day something like that from Ryan’s backup?

Atlanta Falcons fan in Moscow, Russia

by Gemini-RU on Dec 10, 2009 9:15 AM EST reply actions  

Redman

It is possible that he could bag a mean bag of Falcoholic groceries at the Whole Foods.

by xen-cuts on Dec 10, 2009 4:38 PM EST up reply actions  

Yeah Gemini

When he was out of the league for a few years, he sold insurance. It’s funny, most NFL players seem to end up finding a job like that. Selling insurance/cars/etc. I don’t know why, but I always hear about that.

"Ryan, under center. Single receiver set, time on his side. Ryan, gonna throw. First professional pass.....CAUGHT!! Jenkins! 30! 25! 20! 15! 10! 5! He lives in Atlanta!!!" -Wes Durham

by Zippo729 on Dec 11, 2009 2:16 AM EST up reply actions  

people like that

are supposed to have extra motivation when it comes to starting in the NFL. i hope this time he does play at least 50% of the level of, say, Kurt Warner – then we’d have at least a watchable game.

Atlanta Falcons fan in Moscow, Russia

by Gemini-RU on Dec 11, 2009 3:48 AM EST up reply actions  

I guess I'm not in Payton's shoes ...

But I don’t think a perfect season is more important than a SB win. I mean, isn’t winning the SB the entire point?

Regardless of what he says, Payton is not going to play someone who is iffy on the injury front in pursuit of perfection, that ring means too much.

Reporter: How will you address all of the dropped passes?

Mike Smith: I don’t think that we were as sharp as we have been catching the football. It’s something that is very fixable. It’s VERY fixable.

by FrankyWren on Dec 10, 2009 2:11 PM EST reply actions  

From fan base and Media alone...

Being from New England Myself, I can assure Saintsational that an undefeated season and losing the superbowl, just don’t mesh. If you go undefeated during the year and lose in the Superbowl, The season is basically all for not, They’ve accomplished nothing. Ask the Patriots!

"And their 1st pick in the 2010 NFL draft...The Atlanta Falcons select Derrick Morgan DE- Georgia Tech"

by Edgecrusher211 on Dec 10, 2009 2:27 PM EST reply actions   1 recs

Yeah...

that’s how I feel about it, too. But I have to say that I don’t think the Saints care. They just don’t want to lose. I don’t think it’s the same somehow. They aren’t afraid of losing but they don’t want to not try hard.

Our cornerback situation is just a mess, though. Can we borrow Chris Houston? Oh wait…

by xen-cuts on Dec 10, 2009 4:37 PM EST up reply actions  

You don't want him.

That’s all I’m saying.

"Ryan, under center. Single receiver set, time on his side. Ryan, gonna throw. First professional pass.....CAUGHT!! Jenkins! 30! 25! 20! 15! 10! 5! He lives in Atlanta!!!" -Wes Durham

by Zippo729 on Dec 11, 2009 2:16 AM EST up reply actions  

Undefeated...

Is what the Saints and Drew Breesus want….as well as the whole Who Dat nation!!! We have had so many bad years and so much karma built up that we all believe that not only can we do it, but that it is owed to us to be the first team to go 19-0 with this being our first Super Bowl visit much less victory

by Lil_joe692 on Dec 10, 2009 4:02 PM EST reply actions  

I don't know

That a perfect season is owed to any franchise.

Going back to when the previous team who made it that far and lost Edgecrusher sure makes it sounds like the perfect season was nice but winning the ring was really what it came down to. It will be interesting to see if the Saints are perfect through Atlanta and Dallas if it will take a full effort from the Saints to beat the Panthers and Tampa Bay.

by MustangFalcFan on Dec 10, 2009 4:17 PM EST up reply actions  

If you really believe karma exists

an attitude like that will make you 18-1.

"Ryan, under center. Single receiver set, time on his side. Ryan, gonna throw. First professional pass.....CAUGHT!! Jenkins! 30! 25! 20! 15! 10! 5! He lives in Atlanta!!!" -Wes Durham

by Zippo729 on Dec 11, 2009 2:17 AM EST up reply actions  

Looking at the photo...

I wish my boss loved me that much!

by xen-cuts on Dec 10, 2009 4:35 PM EST reply actions  

There is no way we score more than 10 or even 20 points.

Sorry,watching Redman and our awful run game last week has, to say the least, killed my belief in this team in pulling an upset.

Australian Atlanta Falcons Fan EST 2003

by Grayson on Dec 11, 2009 6:38 AM EST reply actions  

Best Q&A of the year

Good post guys. Very funny. Hope the game will be half as entertaining.

In Breesus' name we play

by Breesus Christ Superstar on Dec 11, 2009 5:33 PM EST reply actions  

LOVE THE NAME!!!

Are you gonna comment on Canal Street Chronicles or what?

Wanna say something? Sign up! It's free!

by Dave Cariello on Dec 11, 2009 10:30 PM EST up reply actions  

Yes

I am the saint fan formerly known as “Buddy D in a dress”. Been following CSC all season long. Thanks for all your hard work Dave.

In Breesus' name we play

by Breesus Christ Superstar on Dec 15, 2009 9:11 PM EST up reply actions  

I use the phrase

“Why don’t you marry him/her” when some of either gender say they love someone.

by brotherbrown on Dec 11, 2009 7:52 PM EST reply actions  

It's a Pee-Wee Herman thing

Remember when he married his salad?

Wanna say something? Sign up! It's free!

by Dave Cariello on Dec 11, 2009 10:30 PM EST up reply actions  

And Peter Griffin tried to marry his slice of blueberry pie?

Fat, dumb, and happy. Hell, two out of three ain't bad!

I Want To Die In My Sleep Like My Grandpa – Not Screaming and Yelling Like His Passengers

If we're not suppose to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

by Just 'Nother Day on Dec 11, 2009 11:25 PM EST up reply actions  

I predict

If the Saints win, a score similar to 34-14 like it 2007.
For the Falcons to win we need to score at least 30 and make some plays on Defense.

by brotherbrown on Dec 11, 2009 7:53 PM EST reply actions  

There was once an Insurance salesman

who made a living, while playing golf for 4 months out of the year before he finished law school. His name was Bobby Jones Jr. From humble beginings??? I want to say that I am sorry that we are gonna beat you guys this weekend, but you know, we kinda have to.
There is a lot at stake. If we were crappy this year, as is the norm and you guys we in a good postion, I would pull you… Keep it in the NFC South…. cause I hate DALLAS!!!
Who Dat!!!!!!

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading". Henny Youngman

by CaddoCoonass on Dec 11, 2009 8:24 PM EST reply actions  

Dave the Falconer is always a welcomed visitor to Canal Street Chronicles.

The dialog banter between the Falconer and Saintsational is the finest on SB Nation. Two great minds engaging in sophisticated one-upsmanship on the highest level, while maintaining a kindred respect for the opponent.

Kind of like enjoying a fine chianti with a bowl of poke ’n beans! “Waiter. Ketchup, please.”

Fat, dumb, and happy. Hell, two out of three ain't bad!

I Want To Die In My Sleep Like My Grandpa – Not Screaming and Yelling Like His Passengers

If we're not suppose to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

by Just 'Nother Day on Dec 11, 2009 11:36 PM EST reply actions  

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