Okay. Listen. You guys know Maurice Jones-Drew, right? So he's like, totally unhappy in Jacksonville. I know this because he hasn't reported to Jaguars camp yet, and Mike Mularkey's all like whatever. But you know he's hurting inside.

So here's my proposition: Let's trade for Maurice Jones-Drew. Seriously, let's do it. It's time for this football team to stop pussyfooting around with this whole idea of passing for a lot of yards. I'm not sure Matt Ryan's arm is even attached to his body, given his totally lame deep ball passing ability. Also, Michael Turner? More like Bicycle Learner. Because he's lame.

Trading our first round picks for the next three seasons to pick up Maurice Jones-Drew would solve all of the Falcons' problems. Need a quick yard? MJD can do that, and he'll only cost the team a hojillion dollars and a dozen draft picks. Want a pass-catching back? MJD can do that, and then you don't have to waste time on those other backs on the roster. Shortage of towels in the locker room? MJD will buy them in bulk and personally deliver them to the Georgia Dome from the back of a unicorn, unlike whatever buttmunch is running the facilities right now.

Some people will try to tell you that running backs are the most fungible assets in the NFL, and haven't we wasted enough time pining for players who will never come to Atlanta because they're ridiculous pipe dreams/old as the hills/have literally peed on their teammates? Well, shut up, losers. You can't spell fungible without fun, can you?

It's time we stopped pretending that a brand new coaching staff paired with a promising team is going to be enough to get these Falcons to the playoffs. Clearly, the answer is a different running back than the guy who has helped the Falcons win dozens of games and run for thousands of yards. It's his fault they haven't been Super Bowl champions by now, and MJD will arrive to an angelic fanfare and a ray from heaven itself to deliver us unto the promised land. Totally.

C'mon, you guys.*

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We're going to start off today with a discussion post about a player that has gotten a little lost in the shuffle in recent months. I am, of course, referring to linebacker Stephen Nicholas.

Nicholas is a bit of an unusual case. He's a capable outside linebacker who does many things well and nothing spectacularly. He was overshadowed by Curtis Lofton and more recently Sean Weatherspoon, but he's signed for the long haul and is more or less guaranteed a starting job in 2012. Yet for all that, he's somewhat of the forgotten man of the linebacking corps, if not the defense.

I actually expect this to change in 2012. No one's going to confuse Nicholas with a pass-rushing specialist, but he's got enough chops to make things interesting, as evinced by his 2009 three-sack campaign. He's also solid enough in coverage, a technically sound tackler and a guy with pretty good athleticism. Mike Nolan should like that combination of skills and natural ability, and I expect Nicholas to have a nice year in 2012.

But it's not a discussion post without your input. What are your expectations for Nicholas?

That almost completes the draft class.

The Falcons have now signed one of their last two remaining picks from the 2012 NFL Draft to a four-year deal, leaving only Jonathan Massaquoi as yet unsigned.That would get the whole class up and running well ahead of OTAs, which is important for their development. I have no doubt that'll be done soon.

But that's not who we're discussing tonight. We're discussing a guy who is 6'6" and 325 pounds of offensive tackle fury.

That would be Lamar Holmes. He's the guy the Falcons thought highly enough of to invest in a third round pick in. Holmes has the size, athleticism and physicality to be a starting left tackle in the NFL, but it's going to take him some time to get there.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: If Holmes can become a quality starter, this draft is more or less a success, given the fact that the Falcons have not had a great one in many, many years. Color me cautiously optimistic about Holmes, and I'm definitely looking forward to seeing what he can do at OTAs next month.

Your thoughts?

I found this little quote at the end of D. Orlando Ledbetter's article about Peter Konz fairly illuminating. Allow me to share it:

"We are very good friends," Konz said of Ewing. "We’re very religious people. Guys who like to try to do the right thing and be team leaders. Bradie and I know each other very well."

This is more or less a throwaway line for a story about rookie mini-camp, because of course Konz and Bradie Ewing know one another. They were teammates at Wisconsin. But it's also worth noting that once again, the Falcons have gone out of their way to draft guys who are considered high-character.

We've already heard from a friend of Lamar Holmes about his work ethic and clean nose. Charles Mitchell was a team leader, according to most of the scouting reports I've read. And now Konz is casually talking up how he and Ewing plan to be team leaders. Oh, you know, no big deal.

It's not a given that every single pick the Falcons make will be a guy who fits the team's hard-working, low-profile culture. But it's clear that the Falcons haven't abandoned the character issue as a factor on their draft boards, and I don't think they will.

The advantages of that kind of culture are mostly in the public relations vein, in my mind, but there's something to be said for a team full of dudes who want to be good and can limit the clashes.

How much does team culture matter to you?

If you didn't think our wild theories about Mike Nolan making use of multiple defensive linemen and really just sending guided missiles from all over the field at the quarterback held any water...well, we've got a little evidence for you.

It's in the form of a lengthy quote from Daniel Cox's article on this very topic, but it's worthwhile to share the whole thing. Go and read his story for the full effect, por favor.

"We have a pressure-type defense," Hamilton said. "If you’re pressuring, you’re sending other people, sending some linebackers and defensive backs. It’s kind of like the Jets. The sacks are going to be spread around. If you’re only rushing four guys, then your sacks will be mostly from your defensive line. Our system, we have other guys rushing and coming in there like that. The whole key is to put pressure on the quarterback. This is a quarterback-driven league. We want to make him make quick decisions and hopefully he’ll make some wrong decisions and we’ll get some interceptions and sacks and everyone will be productive."

Ray Hamilton also mentions that Lawrence Sidbury and Cliff Matthews will be expected to step in, compete and be a part of the rotation. This is only logical; after all, what kind of rotation involves only three people? That's like an 1880's MLB rotation. Rotation? Rotation.

I actually think this is a great thing. Teams who don't know where the blitz is coming from cannot prevent it as well, and if the Falcons are willing to send pass rushers from all over the field, that'll accomplish Hamilton and Nolan's goal just fine. John Abraham is the only guy who's a lock to get more than four sacks this season, but if everyone had four, that would be mighty impressive.

The upshot is that the Falcons are probably going to roll out some very different blitz packages than we're used to seeing, and both Sidbury and Matthews should get a real shot at playing time if they prove up to it. At the very least, we'll get a good sense of how capable a pass rusher all these guys truly are.

What are your thoughts on a defensive end rotation and bringing heat from different quarters?

It's the middle of May, and wouldn't you know, all the rookies have made their first NFL noise. It's pretty exciting to think that all those young guys will be trying their hearts out to fill spots that will be few and far between on the Falcons roster this year.

I wish I was able to see them, but it's likely I won't be able to make it down until later on this summer. In any case, we have a bunch of rookies on our team. Now, it's your chance to predict who you think will be the rookie of the year. If you win, you get bragging rights. Or a high five. Or an all-expenses-paid trip in your dreams. More likely than not, I'll forget this post ever existed.

In any case, I think my ROTY is going to be Cody Pearcy. I would love to see Quizz's brother make the team, but I feel like of all the speedy guys we've acquired, Pearcy will be the one we keep due to his absolutely insane speed. Brandon Banks is similarly sized and he made it happen for the 'Skins last year. DeSean Jackson isn't too big, himself, and he does just fine. Except when a Dunta Missile comes flying in. Ouch, was that too soon?

Anywho, your mid-May predictions for Rookie of the Year of the Falcons. Go!

One of the toughest parts of being a UDFA is not overcoming your draft status, but the incumbents. There are at least rookies who will be facing exactly that challenge as they gun for the returner gigs for these Atlanta Falcons.

First off: The chances of the team carrying a guy who's basically just going to return kicks or punts is virtually non-existent, so I will refer to the eventual winner of this competition as "the returner." Secondly, the chances of this particular competition being won by a rookie UDFA seem slim enough.

Mike Smith said something Saturday that makes me think this, paired with simple common sense. Alex Welch covered in his excellent rookie mini-camp story, which you should be sure to read immediately. Here's the relevant quote:

"Dominique Franks and Harry Douglas, those are the two guys right now that would probably be the leading candidates to return punts."

Now, a lot can change in between now and the season. Rodgers could impress, Pearcy could gain 20 pounds of muscle and start knocking would-be tacklers off their feet and Marcus Jackson could somehow leapfrog all four candidates for returner. It could happen, but I don't consider it particularly likely. Both Franks and Douglas can do returns, they've been around a while and the coaching staff trusts them.

You can downgrade Douglas if you want because he's expected to be a bigger part of the offense, but Franks is now the fourth or fifth cornerback on a team

At the very least, though, you can't say these remarks won't motivate the crop of UDFAs. The "right now" is a nice touch. And that will, in turn, hopefully inspire Douglas and Franks to do great things. My money's on Franks.

That's not to say I'm not intrigued by Cody Pearcy, James Rodgers and even Marcus Jackson, but it's clear they're facing an uphill battle to snatch a job. Do you think they'll get one?

It's always a little inspiring to see guys who weren't even UDFAs but tryout players get a shot to go a little further. The Falcons brought aboard three such players yesterday.

The first is tight end Aron White of Georgia. A backup for Orson Charles, White was a decent blocker and a surprisingly adept red zone threat given his lack of overall receptions. He'll compete to win at least a practice squad spot on a roster not exactly rolling in quality tight ends.

The second is fullback Lee Meisner, who is somewhat of a two-way player given his reputation for defense in college. Fullback isn't exactly a position the Falcons are hurting for even with Ovie Mughelli gone, given that they have Bradie Ewing, Jason Snelling and Mike Cox, but Meisner may get a look at other positions as well.

Last but not least is wide receiver Kenny Stafford, who you may remember from Alex's write-up yesterday. At 6'4", 204 pounds, the Toledo product didn't have much in the way of college production but has that nice combination of size and speed the Falcons have been so fond of bringing to camp in recent years. He'll try to beat out guys like Michael Calvin, Kevin Cone, Drew Davis and James Rodgers.

The team also waived rookie defensive tackle Ray Kibble, who had 5.5 sacks his senior year at Kansas State. He must not have impressed early.

Thoughts on these signings?